Page 109 of A Capo’s Love: Featuring A Don’s Love

My father stared back at me. It was beyond beautiful and realistic looking. Every detail was perfect from the sharpness of his jaw to the slight cocky smirk he always wore. The darkness of his eyes was painted vividly. La’Nova even added the tiny scar near his temple.

It was him, and for a terrifying second, I genuinely forgot he was dead. My father looked so alive right in front of me that my chest physically hurt. Nobody spoke. It felt like I couldn’t breathe. My feet carried me forward without permission as I went into my past, feeling like the twelve-year-old boy standing next to my father being taught how to properly tie my tie.

Then I was fifteen, sitting beside him during family dinners. Sixteen and hearing him tell me how I needed to slow down and control my anger. My mind flicked back to the last time I had a heart to heart with him before going to jail… the painful look of having to let me go willingly while knowing that there was nothing he could do to stop me from serving time, except wait on Lucille and her connects to set me free.

By then, it was already too late. My memories crashed together so rapidly that it sped all the way up to his funeral. Me standing in the rain with handcuffs digging into my wrists. All the grief and determination I carried once I got my freedom. Kentrell’s death, my grandfather’s then there was… Lucille dying because I felt like it had to happen.

“What do you think of me now?” I whispered lowly, voice cracking.

“I did the best I could,” I continued.

My words felt to heavy as more painful thoughts forced their way into the forefront of my mind. The poison with Lucille, the look in her eyes before she died. Every loss. Every funeral. No goodbyes. The weight of it all… the pressure became unbearable.

My throat burned as I tried to fight off the rapid images in my mind. Intrusive thoughts started to play hard at my emotions.

“Live now, son.” I heard his voice fighting through all the images. “Be at peace…” his voice faded away and then I broke.

Dammit, I was tired of breaking, tired of fighting off my strong emotions and keeping them tucked away so that I didn’t have too many moments like the one I was having now. My vision blurred as the tears won, and I conceded just for some kind of relief. I dropped to my knees before I could stop myself.

I was in front of the man whose approval I still chased despite him being gone. My hands covered my face as my tears slipped through my fingers, relentlessly. I stayed on my knees, finally staring back up at my father. The amount of love poured into this gift with every intricate detail brought me back to the reality of La’Nova drawing and painting him with patience and love for me.

She found a way to give me the one thing money couldn’t buy. A moment with my father one more time. I’ve been waiting since learning of his death for him to come back to me through a dream. Just to hear his voice vividly one more time. I heard it loud and clear in my mind, and that was all I needed to keep pushing through life.

“I guess this was a good gift like Nova baby said it would be,” Cain whispered to Abel.

A broken laugh escaped me as I felt movement beside me. La’Nova lowered herself to the floor next to me. Her oversized shirt pooled around her thick thighs as she settled beside me carefully. Her hand covered mine as she gave it a gentle squeeze.

“I’m sorry.”

I looked at her and frowned.

“For what?”

“I keep hurting you.” Her words cracked.

“I know mourning a parent lasts forever but…” She sniffled as fresh tears rolled down her round cheeks. “I hate seeing you hurt. I wanted this to make you happy.”

My chest tightened as it hit me what this meant to her to. She probably thought I was getting ready to push her back out of my life. I placed my hand on top of hers than lifted it to my lips.

“Thank you, Nova baby.” I looked past her to the boys who now had funny expressions on their faces. “Thank you, Cain and Abel.” I smirked at them, clearing my face of tears.

I wanted them comfortable with knowing that it was okay for men to express their emotions. It was good for them to know anyway so they didn’t end up like me and Royal, burying it in and suffering silently.

Suddenly, waiting until dinner to propose to La’Nova felt ridiculous. I reached into my pocket and pulled out the small box then shifted on my knees until I was right in front of her.

“Damn, he just couldn’t wait,” Cain whispered, nudging Abel.

“Mouth, Cain,” I warned.

La’Nova stared at the black velvet box in my hand and stiffened. Her eyes widened, lips parted as she slowly shook her head no.

“You told me no the first time I saw you.” I chuckled lowly as she giggled through her fistful of tears.

“I wanted to wait until dinner but now… in front of this beautiful gift that you and the kids made for me feels like a better time, although I’ve been ready to ask you for months now.”

I opened the box, and the ring made its own grand appearance. It was a massive flawless oval cut diamond with several smaller diamonds surrounding it. There wasn’t enough money in the world to properly represent what La’Nova meant to me.

We looked each other deep in the eyes ,communicating just how we felt about each other without even uttering a word. I licked my lips then took the ring out the box and held it between us.