Page 42 of No Merciful Corruption

“It’s Lent. We should be good people. Forgive. Repent.” She lists them off on each finger. “Stop hardening our hearts and being grudge holders like Father O’Brien always taught us. Remember how bad you felt because he died thinking you were still mad at him for giving you detention? Well, Karina could get hit by a car tomorrow and then you’ll feel real bad afterward!”

“Stop trying to use Catholic guilt on me, it doesn’t work! I’m too morally ambiguous for it now.” I reply sarcastically.

I’m about to make my way up the stoop when she grabs me by the wrist and spins me around. “Stop doing that!”

“Doing what?” I snap.

“Acting like none of this hurts you!” she fires back. “Just stop it. For someone who’s made a real ass of herself this past year, you are sorely lacking in sympathy and compassion. Karina fucked up. Fine. Give her a chance to fix it.”

“You say that as if we got into a fight over stealing each other’s clothes. What she did was horrible⁠—”

She cuts me off. “If you can forgive Alejandro, then you can forgive Karina too. I can’t believe you’re willing to let a man you’ve barely known three years back into your life over a cousin who has been like a sister to you. Hear her out.”

“You sound like you know something I don’t.”

She rolls her eyes. “That’s not the point!”

“Yes it is! And I want to know how she knew I was in the hospital. Who told her?”

“Alejandro called her. Look, it’s a long story. Right now you need to go after her!”

“I can’t.”

She has no idea how much I want to. How much I want to undo the last three years of damage done to our relationship and go back to the way things were before. But Karina isn’t the same person anymore and neither am I.

“Why not?” Lyss follows me to the front stoop. “Dahlia!”

“No!”

Lyss staggers back, appearing as startled as I feel.

“Don’t you understand? It hurts. It hurts me to see her, to be around her, to talk to her.” I’m so flustered and frustrated and my hands are trembling and now I can’t see clearly because my eyes are filling with tears. “You’re supposed to be my best friend and you’re taking her side over mine. What kind of a friend does that?”

Her expression softens. “Dee, I’m just trying to⁠—”

“Go home. I mean it. I want to see my grandparents alone.”

I don’t wait for her response and make sure to lock the front door behind me.

* * *

I can’t decide who I’m going to kill first. My best friend or my boyfriend.

My visit with my grandparents is brief. We have breakfast, I fix their TV because they have no idea how to use a Firestick, and I spend about twenty minutes explaining to them the difference between streaming and regular cable but they stopped caring the second they found out they could watch Caso Cerrado on demand.

The train ride back into the city is surprisingly quiet but my mind is a mess. Once I reach Union Square, I transfer to the 6 train and ride uptown. There’s nowhere to go, nothing to do. I don’t have any online classes today and all my assignments are complete. If I go home, Lyss and might be there waiting for me. But where else can I go?

Rian isn’t an option. I’m glad we both made amends but it’s going to take some time before we can really be friends again. Damiano maybe? I don’t really want to talk to him either. He’s a good friend but he’s never met Karina and he isn’t the person I need to speak to right now.

I ride the 6 all the way to 68th Street and Hunter College. I exit the station and head into the campus’s west building where I wait in the lobby for four hours.

I wait so long my phone dies and I lose track of time.

Students come in waves. Late morning rush, early afternoon rush, midafternoon rush. I know when a class period is about to end or when a train arrives downstairs by the influx of students. In and out, in and out, they are my only source of entertainment for what feels like an eternity. Eventually, I bum a portable charger off a freshman who looks like they’re on the verge of their thirteenth reason so I help them cheat on their algebra exam. Not sure if I helped or made it worse but it seemed like a small price to pay for an undead phone.

At a quarter to three, there’s another wave of students, some leaving and some going. Fifteen minutes after that I spot a familiar coat and long dark hair.

My grandparents said she was teaching today.