Page 43 of No Merciful Corruption

I don’t know what led me here in the first place. Boredom? Morbid curiosity? I wasn’t even sure what building she was teaching in or what time she’d be done. What were the odds we’d cross paths?

What were the odds she’d even want to speak to me?

No…no, I can’t. I can’t. It’s still too soon, too raw. All I can think of is the way she yelled at me, the way she cast me out of her life, all the times she chose Brent over me when I begged to be seen by her⁠—

She’s almost out the door. I’m going to lose sight of her. Panic explodes inside of me.

I practically jump out of my chair. “Kay? Kay!”

Karina’s head snaps around and she stops near the revolving doors. Her eyes widen like a deer caught in headlights and before I know it, my legs are moving and I’m closing the distance between us.

“Thanks.” The word practically bursts from my lips.

She stares at me. Confused or alarmed, I can’t tell.

“For being there. Last month.”

“Oh…you’re welcome.”

I can’t help myself. Once I start speaking, I can’t stop. “Why didn’t you come in to see me? I didn’t even know you were there. Why didn’t you say anything? And why is your hair so long? You hate long hair.”

The old Karina would’ve been self-conscious about a comment like that. She would’ve run her fingers through her hair and yelled at me for being rude and said something about people being able to do whatever they want with their physical appearance. Instead, she barely acknowledges it. It feels a little like defeat.

“I didn’t think you wanted to see me.”

I didn’t. I still don’t. Maybe…

Her brows furrow slightly. “How long have you been sitting here?”

I say, “Four hours. I think. I don’t know. My phone died and I had to borrow a charger from the nervous wreck over there wearing headphones and a beanie.”

I point to the kid who helped me earlier and she nearly smiles.

“I was just about to go get something to eat,” she says. “There’s a diner on 73rd Street.”

I wring my hands. Consider my options. “Do they have really big sprinkle cookies?”

Karina laughs. “Yes, Dahlia. They have really big sprinkle cookies.”

* * *

Lunch with my cousin is more awkward than I thought it would be.

Karina orders a Caesar salad and I get tomato soup with a grilled cheese but the edges aren’t as buttery and crispy as when Alejandro makes it for me. Having a boyfriend who likes to cook in his free time really does have me spoiled. Nothing tastes as good anymore.

We haven’t said a word to each other since we got here. The waiter came, brought us water, took our orders, and then came back fifteen minutes later with our food. Should I break the silence or wait for her to do it? What do we even have to say to each other? I can’t help but wonder if we made a mistake in letting too much time pass and now the bridge that once connected us is rotting underwater. There’s no salvaging it.

Karina lowers her fork and says, “Are we just going to stare at each other?”

“No. We’re going to stare at each other and eat.”

She sighs and pushes her bowl away. “I’m not hungry anymore.”

“Well, I am.” I take a gluttonous bite of my subpar grilled cheese to avoid speaking any further.

“I’m assuming you want to talk. Otherwise you wouldn’t be here.” She watches me swirl a spoon around in my soup. “How are you healing?”

“Fine. Doctor says if I take extra care I won’t scar.”