Page 16 of Anything But Lonely

“I don’t really know,” Liam answers, and I picture the way he’s probably shrugging his shoulders and pursing his lips. “I asked if he was going to get a babysitter or something, but then it was time for them to go on, so I never heard his answer.”

It’s like all the pieces fall into place, the dots connect, a lightbulb clicks on.

A light at the end of the tunnel.

The words pour from my mouth before I even think twice.

“I’ll do it.”

CHAPTER 8

MATEO

I’ve been going over the logistics in my head for the last two days, and I’ve come to the same conclusion every single time.

I’m going to fuck this up.

Talking it all out with Eddie, Theo, and Silas has cleared up some things when it comes to having Crew on tour with me, but the only solution to the problems that keep coming up would be cloning me so I can be on stage and with him at the same time.

Luckily, my tour bus is more than big enough to account for my son and everything I’ll need to make sure he’s comfortable, and I’ve talked to our manager to ensure our hotels and other stops are as kid-friendly as possible.

What we can’t figure out is how the hell I’m going to get Crew to bed at a reasonable hour when our call time is when he needs to be winding down for the day.

I can’t be at the hotel, on the bus, and in soundcheck at the same time.

And the same goes for everyone on tour with me.

“What about a Pack ‘n Play in the greenroom?” Silas asks, trying to help. With no kids himself, he’s the uncle of all of ours and has been trying to help, but his suggestions aren’t always helpful.

The four of us are gathered in the living area, brainstorming final details as we drive to Atlanta, mere hours away from meeting Crew, Talia, and her husband at our hotel for the night.

“He’s too big for a Pack ‘n Play,” I answer, rubbing my forehead with my thumb and forefinger, leaning my head back against the wall of my tour bus. “And I can’t leave him alone.” I try to settle the frustration I feel building, especially since we’ve been down a similar road before, all agreeing that there wouldn’t be anyone to check on him and it would probably be too loud for him to sleep anyway. Not to mention I wouldn’t be able to focus on stage, and it ultimately wouldn't be a reasonable solution for anyone.

“And there isn’t anyone who can come on tour with him?” Theo asks again.

I shake my head, not even voicing the thoughts in my head because I’m sick of repeating myself.

Mia has kids of her own, and having three kids under the age of five on the tour bus, in addition to my sister, isn’t an option. Crew doesn’t have any other blood-related aunts or uncles since Talia is an only child, and all of my friends either have jobs or kids and can’t just drop everything to live on a tour bus for the next eight months—or they’re already on the fucking tour.

I don’t have parents who could come, and neither does Talia.

Both of us losing our parents young was something that connected us when we first got together, and I didn’t think twice about Crew not having grandparents until now—wishing I had a bigger village for my son.

“Mia did say Crew was welcome at our house,” Eddie offers carefully. “The girls would love having him around,” he adds with a small smile from where he sits across from me.

He’s brought it up as an option before, and maybe it’s the best one.

But I hate the thought of not seeing Crew for weeks at a time.

Mia and Eddie don’t have the same arrangement that Talia and I had, agreeing that her traveling with the twins would be too much. And she has a huge village back at home. So, instead, Eddie travels home when he can to see his daughters.

I let out a sigh, but it comes out more like a groan. “Maybe you’re right.”

I could have Crew here for the weekend, since we’re in Atlanta for two nights instead of one—an extra day to account for back-to-back travel days once we’re done here and start heading to Missouri. Then I can fly back to Milwaukee with him and make sure he’s settled at Mia’s before catching a red-eye to be back in time for our St. Louis show.

Eddie, Theo, and Silas talk amongst themselves, going over scenarios and ideas that we’ve already been over, but I still appreciate it. It means a lot that they’re trying to help me make this work.

Having my son on tour with me is a dream.