Page 17 of Anything But Lonely

Getting to see him right before I go on stage, looking into the curtain during a song to see him watching me, running straight for him once our encore is finished and we say goodnight to the crowd.

This farewell tour has already fucked me up in ways I don’t quite yet understand, having to say goodbye to this phase of my life and not quite sure who I’ll be without it.

While being Crew’s dad is my life’s greatest accomplishment, being the lead singer of Cross My Heart gave me the strength and confidence to be his dad.

It’s been my life for almost twenty years, the one thing I did for myself after my parents died and I became responsible for not only myself but my eight-year-old sister.

But the more and more I try to come up with ways to make it work, the more impossible it feels.

“I’m going to call Mia,” I announce, interjecting into the conversation, before standing up and heading to my bedroom.

These tour buses are insane compared to the ones we used to travel on, when we were just starting out. They’re so big, you sometimes forget that you’re on the road.

Closing the door behind me, I pull my phone from my pocket, but before I can click on Mia’s contact, an unknown number pops up on my screen—an incoming call.

“Hello?”

“Hi, I heard you’re looking for a nanny?”

I pull the phone from my ear, just to make sure I’m not imagining things. I blink my eyes a few times, momentarily convinced that I’m hallucinating.

“Are you there?” the voice asks, distant from where I hold the phone in front of me.

I look around my bedroom, as if I’ll spot hidden cameras like I’m on some stupid prank show, moments away from someone popping out of my closet and laughing at me for falling for it.

“Hello?” the voice says, and I bring my phone back to my ear.

“Who is this?” I ask, my brows furrowing. I don’t know if I’m upset or just confused, but it has my voice coming out much harder than I thought possible.

“My name is Emerson. I’m friends with Liam. He said you need a nanny, and I’m available.”

Her voice is velvety smooth and direct as hell, like she’s not interested in what I have to say unless I’m agreeing with her.

“Well, Emerson,” I start, my voice almost stuttering over her name. The confidence she exudes, even over the phone, is intimidating, and if my interaction with that woman at Lenny’s a few days ago is any indication of how I do with a confident woman, I know this isn’t going to bode well for me. “I appreciate the offer,” as invasive as it is, I think to myself. “But I don’t need a nanny.” I clear my throat, feeling how close my voice is to cracking. “Thank you, though,” I add sheepishly, feeling my ears heat and my chest go red.

I pull the phone from my ear, ready to hang up when I stop. “I think you do,” she retorts.

She says it so assertively, it has me scared and turned on at the same time.

I shake my head at the thought, instantly embarrassed that my mind even went there.

“Liam mentioned that your son will be joining you at your next tour stop, and I’d be happy to join you then too,” she continues. “I have a ton of experience with kids, and I can cover the cost of my own travel and accommodations. I’m also flexible when it comes to payment, and I need—” she pauses, like she’s cutting herself off.

I don’t say anything, but I find myself holding my breath as I wait for her to finish her sentence.

This woman is a stranger.

A complete stranger.

Yet, at the same time, she might be exactly who I need.

I hear the way she inhales sharply before exhaling. “I’d be happy to come meet your son and see if we’re a good fit. If we are, great. If not, that’s okay too. No pressure. I just want to help.”

For some reason, I don’t think that was what she was planning on saying, but I push the thought away—I have no business having it.

“So,” she says, and that’s when I realize it’s been more than a few seconds of her waiting for me to say something. “What do you say?”

I should tell her no.