His gaze remained fixed ahead on the snowy trail. “For school. For Dag.”
The old pain rose so unexpectedly that it caught her off guard. Even now, after all the years that had passed. Pain she thought she had left behind long ago.
Mikael exhaled slowly. “I should have stopped him.”
Yes, you should have. The thought came instantly and bitterly.
Lyra shoved her hands deeper into her coat pockets. “You were popular, I wasn’t,” she said quietly. “Dag was your friend, you had his back.”
“But you had no one at your back.”
“That’s because no one wanted to be the next target.” She hated being blunt, but there was no other way to say it.
“That’s not an excuse.”
“No,” she admitted softly. “It isn’t.”
Snow drifted gently around them while silence stretched again.
“There were days I used to dread going to school so badly I would get sick before leaving the house,” Lyra confessed finally, her voice quieter now. “Dag always knew exactly what to say to make people laugh at me, and eventually everyone else joined in because it was easier than trying to go against him.”
Mikael’s jaw tightened visibly.
“You watched it happen, and honestly…” She swallowed slightly. “That hurt worse sometimes.”
Because at one time, she had carried a crush on him. Despite it all, she had still liked him enough to daydream about things that could never happen.
God, she had liked him so much back then.
Mikael closed his eyes briefly as though the words physically struck him. “I know,” he said hoarsely.
“No, I don’t think you do.” Lyra stared down at the snowy path beneath her boots. “I hated you for a long time.”
“I deserved it.”
“Yes, you did,” she whispered.
The honesty of it hung painfully between them, but strangely, the anger itself no longer burned the way it once had. Time had dulled the sharpest edges.
“And yet,” Mikael murmured after a moment, “you still saved me. You had to know who I was.”
Lyra looked up at him then.
The cold wind stirred dark strands of hair across his forehead, and suddenly he no longer looked like the untouchable king or the boy whose best friend was a bully. He only looked tired.
“I couldn’t leave you there to die,” she said simply.
“Even after everything?”
“Yes, despite it all.”
Mikael stared at her with something almost unreadable in his eyes. “Why?”
Lyra thought about that carefully as they continued walking.
Finally she answered with a catch in her voice. “Because what happened to me never gave me the right to become cruel in return.”
She shrugged faintly afterward. “Maybe being hurt made me more aware of how much small kindnesses matter.” A weak smile touched her mouth. “I know what it feels like when nobody helps.”