Page 53 of Capturing the Captain

“It’s okay, baby. I get why you didn’t. I saw how miserable you were everyday and I knew you felt just as bad as I did. I couldn't understand it because, if you didn't want to be with me, why were you hurting so bad, you know?”

We stay silent for a while, cuddling on the couch. It’s a comfortable silence. One that doesn't need to be filled. I should have realized a long time ago that Josh still cared about me. I saw it in the way he looked at me when he thought I wasn’t looking. Or the way he always asked his teammates to check up on me, not knowing that they told me.

“I never got to thank you.” I say, breaking the silence.

He looks down at me, those deep, penetrating eyes locked onto my own. “What for?”

“The muffins.”

He lets out a low chuckle as he rests his cheek against my head again. I’ve missed that sound. “Sasha told me you hadn’t been eating. I thought I’d give it a shot.”

“Well, it worked. They were so good.” He gives me a tight squeeze, clearly pleased with himself. “Too bad they came back up an hour later.”

“Okay, that's just gross.” We both laugh, the sound of his vibrating through my soul. “You seriously didn't know you were pregnant?" He asks when our laughter dies down.

“Nope.” I reply, popping the ‘p’. “I thought all the symptoms I had were because of stress. Clearly I was wrong.”

“You know, Michaelson asked me if you were pregnant.” He says in disbelief.

“Oh no.” I groan, covering my heated face with my hands. “He saw me throwing up in the parking lot like a month ago. God, it was so embarrassing.” All Josh can do is laugh at my humiliation but thinking back on it now, it is kinda funny.

We talk for hours about everything that has happened since we last spoke but as it turns out, not much has happened to either of us. He does tell me that his coach has been up his ass and has threatened his captain title and I can’t help the feeling of shame that washes over me.

Josh sensed the obvious shift in my mood and immediately eased the feeling, though deep down I think it’ll always be there.

I tell him about Sasha and how much of a pain in the ass she’s been but I’ll be forever grateful to her for being there today. I tell him that I’m a shitty friend and while he doesn't disagree, he says he gets it because he’s been the exact same way.

Why do we do that? Why do we push people away when we need them the most? One thing I’ve learnt from this whole thing is that people need people. But I guess knowing it and acting on it are two completely different things.

“Oh my God!” I shout, shooting up from the couch. “Don’t ask me how I forgot this because I don't even know.” I say, rushing to my bag and pulling out a small slip of folded paper. “My midwife said since I’m already sixteen weeks, she could tell the sex of the baby. I said I didn't want to know because I wanted to tell you first but Sasha being Sasha demanded to know.” Crossing the room, I sit on the couch beside Josh again. And when I say ‘beside’ I mean I’m practically on top of him. All my spatial awareness has left me in this moment. I’m too eager to find out if Josh wants to know if we’re having a boy or a girl. “Sooo, Sasha knows.”

I glance at Josh who looks a little lost. That’s probably due to the fact that I’m talking at 100mph and can’t sit still. “She wrote it down on this piece of paper in case we wanted to know. You know, if this chat went well and all that.” I hold the folded paper out to Josh and he takes it without hesitation. “So, do you want to know?”

“Do you want to know?”

“I want to know.”

“Yeah I want to know too.”

“Right now?”

“Right now.” I’m sure if anyone else was in the room with us right now, their head would be swinging between us so fast that they’d get whiplash from how fast me and Josh are speaking to each other. “Close your eyes.” I do as he asks, peaking through one to see that his eyes are closed as well. “Count down from three?”

I nod my head before realizing he can’t actually see me so I answer with a hushed, “Yeah.”

“Three, two, one.” We both open our eyes, fixated on the small piece of now open paper resting in Josh’s hands. He sets the paper on the small table that sits in front of his couch and turns towards me. He takes my shaky hands in his, his smile so wide that the dimples on either side of his cheeks are so prominent. I lift one hand up and trace it delicately with my fingers. “Are you happy?” He asks me and my teary gaze meets his own.

“I’m more than happy.” It comes out as a whisper, my voice shaky and full of emotion. He brings his lips down to mine, kissing me soft and slow. This kiss is everything. It’s making up for lost time, an apology and a promising future, all in one. My heart is bursting and I long for the moment that Josh and I can bring our baby girl home.

34

Josh

“I’m gonna be a dad.” I announce to the three men sitting in front of me. The sound of forks clattering onto the table is so loud against the silence. After Olivia left this morning, I shot a quick message off to Sasha, thanking her for looking after my girls. She replied almost instantly with a congrats text, followed by an our girls text and then ended it with a threatening text that if I ever so much as look at Olivia wrong, she’ll chop my dick off. I wouldn't even put that past her.

After that pleasant conversation ended, I messaged Michaelson, Matthews and Knight to see if they wanted to come over for drinks tonight and they all agreed. We’re sitting around my dining table with takeout and beers. I hadn't necessarily planned on telling them my news but I couldn't help it. I think Olivia’s word vomit is contagious. It’s like the words were just sitting there on the tip of my tongue, begging to be released and I couldn’t even stop myself before I spewed them out, all over the table.

Ollie wasn’t against the idea of me telling the guys but it could only be the ones I trusted for now. First, we need to come clean to team management and I just know Coach is gonna have my balls. It’s safe to say this will probably be my first and last baby when he’s finished with me.