Page 37 of Fated to the Alpha

She was right. Dominic and Gage were just as protective of Kimberly as any other alpha would be. There was likely nothing Kaelyn could have done or said to redeem herself in their eyes. She would have had Kaelyn’s blood on her hands if she told anyone that her neighbor refused to step out of her apartment the night Nathan attacked her. Kimberly stayed quiet, not for Kaelyn’s sake, but for her own. That kind of guilt would have eaten away at her.

But it was the look of total agony on Kaelyn’s face that made Kimberly rethink what she was going to say next, as well as the tone.

“You’re right. I knew you were in your apartment when it happened. I know what Gage would have done to you. That’s why I told them you weren’t home. I’m not that petty or vindictive. You have your reasons, however shitty they may be, but I would never wish an alpha’s wrath on someone who didn’t really deserve it. You came through in the end and probably helped to save Tolstone. That’s what matters.”

Kaelyn looked confused, and Kimberly couldn’t blame her. Yes, this shifter was not on her top list of favorite people, but she wouldn’t want Kaelyn six feet under in severed pieces.

Kimberly took a breath and spread her fingers across the cool granite. “What I want to know is why you didn’t do something that night … Any shifter would have come barreling over, but you didn’t. I know you have some dominance, so it must have been contradictory to your instincts, right? You know I was defenseless, right?”

Kaelyn suddenly looked even more uncomfortable. “Yes, my wolf wanted to come and help you so bad, believe me … but that’s why I couldn’t leave my apartment.”

“I don’t get it.”

She paused as if summoning the courage to blurt out the truth. “I can’t control my shifts.”

Kimberly blinked. “What do you mean?” She knew every clarifying question was like rubbing salt into Kaelyn’s invisible wounds.

Kaelyn squeezed her eyes shut and flapped her hand toward her chest like she was trying to shake off some bad feeling. “I can’t … it’s … I can shift just fine, but it’s never when I actually want to, and when I do, I’m not in charge. The wolf takes over and I’m just watching all the havoc it brings to the situation. It happens when I’m really pissed off or just super emotional. I knew that if I tried to interfere, if I tried to stop Nathan, I’d definitely end up shifting, but I would be a danger to you and everyone in this building. I couldn’t risk it or the exposure. That’s one of Dominic’s top rules, you know. Don’t do anything that could expose us to the humans.”

Kaelyn’s eyes glistened with unshed tears, and Kimberly felt the first stirrings of empathy. A wolf who couldn’t control their shifts by their age was pretty rare, if not a downright anomaly. Something must have been seriously wrong with Kaelyn’s wolf to make her that volatile. What a pair they made. Kimberly couldn’t shift anymore, and Kaelyn couldn’t hold in her shift or manage her wolf. They were like opposite sides of the same dysfunctional coin.

The confession melted some of the ice, but Kimberly was a long way from forgiving. Kaelyn might have been lying, spinning some sob story just to turn her into the victim and take some of the pressure off. Though if she was lying, Kaelyn was a brilliant actor. Kimberly sensed no deception in her at all.

Kaelyn bounced impatiently. “Please, say something so I don’t feel like a total idiot?”

Kimberly smirked and thought she’d repay one confession for another. “Last Friday, I had a guy over. We started getting … you know, and he did some things that brought what happened that night … not so far from my mind. It really freaked me out and I totally ruined the moment.” Kimberly closed her eyes and took a long, steadying breath. “I don’t want anyone to trigger me again, and I don’t want anyone to try what Nathan tried on me again. I feel like I dodged a bullet that night when I shouldn’t have even been in the crosshairs. Hence why I cut my hair so that no one can grab it again, and my lame attempt to learn some self-defense.” She gestured to her hair and the paused program on the television.

Kimberly hadn’t said those exact words aloud to anyone since they entered her brain over the weekend. As usual, she wanted to keep all these tragic problems close to the vest. No need to get everyone worked up when she could just resolve her trauma herself. When Kimberly opened her eyes, the tears that had been just on the edge of Kaelyn’s eyelids finally made tracks across her cheeks, smearing her mascara in two thin gray lines.

“Oh, honey. I’m so sorry. If I had—”

“I’m not living in the past anymore,” Kimberly interrupted. “What happened, happened. I can’t change it, but I can move on and do better.” She said it with as much resolute determination as she could muster at that moment, and Kaelyn seemed to believe her.

She smiled and gave a hearty nod of agreement to Kimberly. “That’s a great attitude to have. I’m sure everyone has told you this a hundred times, but you are really brave. Braver than me, for sure.”

“Some days, I don’t feel so brave.”

“Sure, you are,” Kaelyn cheered. “It hasn’t even been, what, two or three months and you’re already dating after that?” Kaelyn took on a cunning look, all sadness and pity seemingly forgotten. “Anyone I know?”

Now, she wanted gossip.

Kimberly figured she would throw her another bone. Maybe it was the tears. She hated seeing other people cry just as much as she hated to cry in front of others. “The new alpha in town.”

Kaelyn made a sound of pleasant surprise. “You aim high, girl! Give me all the details…” She cooled down for just a second. “That is, if you want. No pressure. I know we’re not friends, even though you know I’d like to be.”

Kimberly wasn’t quite ready to admit friendship, and she had a feeling that if she said too much, word would get around Tolstone that the shifter with no dominance and the new alpha might have been seeing one another. If that bit of tea got to Shane, would he be okay with it, or was he ready to take a step back? They could never mate, of course, because of their difference in rank and she wouldn’t want his pack to think that he was considering dropping his title as alpha in order to be with her. There was too much politics wrapped up in any sort of relationship they might have. They just wanted to spend time together. That was all. Kissing in the process was certainly a bonus, but dating just wasn’t possible.

Kimberly decided to spill anyway and trust that Kaelyn wouldn’t squeal. She hadn’t told a soul about all her little run-ins with Shane, besides the little bit she told her mom. She was desperate to confide in someone other than her plants.

She leaned on the countertop, some of the spilled sugar coating her forearms. “Well, I have no qualms with saying he’s a great kisser.”

It was like a switch was flipped and Kaelyn beamed. “Oh, my God! Tell me more!” Making herself at home, she propped her elbow on the counter and settled her chin in her palm, all ears.

And Kimberly did. She told her about Shane, the disaster in her old pack between their fathers, and most of everything that had happened since they ran into each other again. She was careful about the exact details, but the story she spun for Kaelyn was enough. Nothing about how Kimberly couldn’t shift and that she just wanted to use all the dopamine hits from Shane’s company to revitalize her wolf.

“That is so romantic!” she crooned. “So, what’s the problem?”

Kimberly tilted her head. “What do you mean?”