Page 38 of Fated to the Alpha

“I mean, why isn’t he here, helping you through all this mess? He should be right beside you doing that kickboxing stuff. You said you haven’t talked to him since…” Her expression widened. “You haven’t told him about what happened.”

Kimberly grimly shook her head.

Kaelyn smacked her hand on the space of the counter between them. “You have to tell him! If you love him, you’ve got to be totally honest about all that baggage you’re trying to burn. It’s only fair to him.”

If Kimberly had taken a sip of water from her hot pink bottle, she would have snorted the liquid from her nose. “Whoa! Who said anything about love? I mean, I was pretty sure I loved him when we were dating in high school, but we aren’t the same people now. I might have loved seventeen-year-old Shane, but we might as well be starting from scratch. He’s an alpha now. He went through all that crap with his old beta, and he’s in Tolstone for a reason. He doesn’t need me falling in love with him and threatening any hopes of getting back on his feet.”

Kaelyn waggled her brows. “Sounds like that’s just what he needs. Plus, those feelings don’t go away completely. You’re not working from scratch. You may be building on top of some rubble, and around a burned-out skeleton of a house, but it’s not from scratch. And you seem super smart. You should know he’s still in love with you too.”

Her eyes went wide and a cold sweat raced down the back of her legs. “You think so?”

“Totally. The way you talk about all the little things he remembers is a big green flag. Any guy who didn’t really care or was willing to move on wouldn’t make a point of keeping all those Kimberly-related facts in his head. Shane so loves you.” Kaelyn cringed. “Oh … Shane loves you. This may get complicated.”

Kimberly nodded. “Now you’re catching on.”

“He’s supposed to leave with his pack, right?”

“Yeah.” Her gaze drifted. “I know anything we do, and no matter how far it goes, it won’t matter because he would have to leave.” Her voice unexpectedly broke at that last part.

She knew it was true, that it was an immovable fact, but to hear the words come out of her mouth, she wondered if Kaelyn was right. Maybe she was in love. The thought of Shane leaving broke her heart, right along that same scar that was made when they were torn apart in Kansas. The fact that he ghosted her didn’t seem to faze that part of her that still wanted to be with him all these years.

“What am I going to do?” Kimberly whispered.

The question was more to herself, and Kaelyn’s presence became a secondary thought.

“First, you should tell him what happened. It would fill in a lot of gaps. You need to be on the same page. If he loves you, the truth won’t change anything.”

She knew Kaelyn was right, but doubt told her otherwise. Shane already knew about her lack of dominance but didn’t know it wasn’t just her genetics that was screwed up, but her head was too. She didn’t want him to think of her as more broken than she was before. She couldn’t tell him about how she couldn’t shift. Not yet.

Besides, there was no way that Shane could be in love with her. A night of pizza and one passionate kiss wasn’t enough to rekindle teenage love into something more mature. They never confessed anything deeper than attraction and pure friendship when they were younger. There was no way that Shane loved her now. Even if he had loved her then, he sure didn’t show it. He had given all the reasons why he didn’t reach out to her during high school and immediately after she left, but that didn’t make up for ten years of pure silence. It didn’t make up for the total lack of effort to reconnect. If Shane loved her, even a little, he would have pursued her. He wouldn’t have stopped until he found her. Love should have been stronger than any fear he had about what his dad or pack would have thought of him.

Now that Kimberly was back on his radar, sure, Shane acted like he wanted something more than friendship. That kiss made everything more complicated. Did that old flame come back to life, or was it just convenient that she suddenly showed back up? Did running into one another just remind him, Oh, yeah, I like this girl and want to be with her. I forgot. That felt lame. Felt cheap. And it couldn’t erase the ten years Kimberly spent believing that Shane ditched her because she wasn’t worth chasing.

Yet, despite it all, Kimberly felt the stirrings of feelings for Shane. Maybe they had never gone away. In the years after their separation, she had come up with every excuse under the sun for his silence. His father got to his head and convinced him that she was a worthless shifter and unworthy mate. Maybe he started dating her just to piss off his dad. Even the worst-case scenario came to mind that Shane had tried to come after her, but his dad used his usual brutal ways to stop him. Or, in true Romeo and Juliet style, he committed suicide since they couldn’t be together. The last two reasons were tragically romantic, if a little dramatic. They would have been better reasons than Shane not wanting her in the end. And yet, no matter what story she told herself, Kimberly wanted Shane back more than anything. To admit she still loved him would be a stretch, but she couldn’t deny that there was something on her end keeping her interested, even if it was foolish at this stage in the game.

Regardless of whether Shane loved or didn’t love her, back then or now, Kaelyn was right about something. Perhaps Kimberly needed this outside perspective to show her it wouldn’t be the end of the world to tell Shane what happened. Possibly, she could trust him to see her for who she really was, and not what the circumstances turned her into. She wasn’t a victim. She wasn’t weak. She needed her wolf to believe it, but almost equally so, she wanted Shane to believe it too.

Chapter Nine

Shane typed out the message to Kimberly and hit send.

“Are you working today?”

He caught himself holding his breath as he saw the bubbles pop up at the bottom of the screen, showing that Kimberly was typing her reply.

“Yes.”

S: “Do you have deliveries?”

K: “I had one this morning but nothing the rest of the day.”

S: “Have you had lunch?”

K: “Not yet. Working on one more order before break.”

S: “DON’T MOVE!”

Shane had tried to catch her at the flower shop three times. He thought showing up unannounced would be a nice surprise, but every time, she was either not working or making a delivery. Her coworker was nice enough to offer to take a message, but the kind of message he wanted to give Kimberly couldn’t be passed along through a coworker.