Page 69 of Fated to the Alpha

Stacy shook her head and made up the second plate. “Yes, he’s your father, but things are different now. You are an adult, not a child. The rules of your childhood don’t apply.”

That surprised her. “Since when?”

“Since you moved out and found a pack of your own.” Stacy grabbed up two forks and brought the plates to the table before retreating to the kitchen again to fetch the plate of aromatic garlic bread.

Kimberly had barely eaten all day, and the smell of home cooking ignited enough appetite to motivate her to dig in and let the matter drop. Stacy let her eat, patient and likely glorying in the chance to cook for her child again after so long.

When the biting edge of hunger dulled some, Kimberly felt ready to talk. She told her mom about the attack, how she couldn’t shift, how Shane triggered her, how he built her up and then tore her down again, after making her believe that her dominance didn’t matter.

She trusted her mother enough to tell her everything, even the sex, because she considered that valuable context to her belief that the trauma had shrunk to a manageable ratio, that her wolf might have been healthy enough to shift again. That night and morning with Shane in Oakfield could have changed everything. Now, she felt just as broken as the day she was attacked, or the day she learned that she had no dominance after she came of age as a shifter.

Kimberly hung her head over the empty plate smeared with spaghetti sauce and littered with toasted breadcrumbs. “I just wanted to feel … normal. I wanted to feel like I had a chance at a normal shifter life. I wanted to find love, be part of a pack, play a role in my community, and make a difference.”

Stacy reached out and placed her hand near her plate to get her attention. “Kimberly, you have. You have Shane, you’re in a pack, and you are a talented florist. You bring beauty and joy with your flowers.”

“But I’m a liability,” Kimberly groaned. “I’m a weak link. I’m a burden to every shifter I’m around because they have to protect me.”

Once more, sobs rose up her sore throat, but Stacy wouldn’t let them come. “No. None of that is true.”

Kimberly snapped a fierce look at her mom. “Isn’t it? Isn’t that what Dad’s been trying to tell me for so long? Isn’t that why we fought when I decided to go to college in another state? Dad said I could never make it outside if a pack. He always said—”

“You forget what your father said.” The heat and anger in her mother’s voice shocked Kimberly into silence. “You forget all of it.” Stacy sucked in a breath. “You are not a burden. You are not weak. You never have been, and you know it.”

Kimberly’s lips worked, trying to gather the will to say it. “Then, why did Nathan attack me? Why did he want to hurt me?”

The harsh lines of Stacy’s expression became softer. “Why does any man want to hurt a woman? They want to feel powerful. They get a thrill from the control. They search for an easy victim, and he thought that was you.” Stacy cupped her cheeks. “But you’re still here. If you were an easy target, that other shifter would not have arrived in time to help. You had a support system, just as every other shifter has in any pack. If you had been a victim, you wouldn’t have fought him as hard as you did. You wouldn’t have screamed and struggled the way you told me. You would have lain down and given in, but you didn’t. You won.”

Kimberly didn’t think she had any tears left, but they pricked at her eyes just the same. “It doesn’t feel like I did.”

“It doesn’t matter how you feel. What matters is what you do when it’s all over and how you walk in your victory over what he tried to do.”

Nothing about this felt like a victory. Her beaten, fragmented heart didn’t feel victorious at all. How could she ignore the emotions to see any silver lining to this whole mess? Because even if Nathan hadn’t attacked her, it didn’t change the reality of her life as a shifter.

Chapter Sixteen

Shane stood on Dominic’s porch and waited for the Prime Alpha to answer his humbled knock. He sent a text in advance to warn of his coming. It took a couple of hours to choke down his pride after his meeting with Paul before he admitted that he needed real help.

Dominic opened the door, dressed in casual jeans and a loose shirt, and welcomed Shane into the old Victorian-era mansion. The house had an old-world, grand, and masculine vibe, fitting for the family who practically owned Tolstone. It looked like the kind of place that should have reeked of bourbon and cigar smoke, but the aroma of cedar and old books met Shane as he moved from the foyer to the parlor.

Dominic was the first to speak. “You look pretty rough.”

“I’ve had a tough day.” Shane almost collapsed into the velvet wingback chair Dominic offered to him. “Thanks for agreeing to meet me on short notice.”

Dominic sat in the matching chair on the other side of the stone fireplace. “No trouble. It’s what I’m here for.” The Prime Alpha settled himself down. “So, what’s up?”

Shane leaned forward on his knees, unable to relax or put any energy into asserting his rank against Dominic. His head was lower than the Prime Alpha’s, his defenses in shambles.

But this meeting wasn’t about posturing or establishing rank. For several moments, Shane took his time trying to find the words that would communicate his situation without making him sound weak or pathetic. Then again, what was the point of hiding it?

“I … I need help finding balance in being an alpha.”

Dominic’s face pinched with bewilderment. “What do you mean?”

Shane rubbed at his mouth and turned his gaze absently to the cold hearth beside them. “I haven’t done a good job of … I haven’t done right by my pack. I just found out that two shifters up and left because I tried to lay down the law the way I thought was right.” Shane covered his eyes as he thought back to how brutal he was to Andy. “In Kansas, I let more than half my pack lose confidence in me. Here, I’m driving them away. I thought I had a handle on this, that I knew the kind of alpha I wanted to be, but I … I don’t anymore. I knew from the beginning that I never wanted to be like my father, but somehow, I turned into the very person I’ve hated almost all my life.”

Dominic was silent, but not in disappointment, not the way Shane’s father would go quiet when Shane did something wrong. This silence was to give Shane as much of the floor as he needed to get it all out.

Shane turned his palms up in frustration. “When I thought about it, I realized I was too lenient. I was too loose with the rules. I didn’t keep a pulse on my pack the way my father did. If I had been paying attention, if I had more control, then I wouldn’t be here. If I had been stronger than my father, I wouldn’t have hesitated in the fight with Kevin, and I’d still have my pack. But as soon as I tried to fix my mistake in Tolstone, my pack still fell apart. What the hell am I doing wrong?”