Page 70 of Fated to the Alpha

As if he had been waiting for that question, Dominic finally spoke. “You’re doing wrong by not following your instincts. You will fail every time if you don’t. What your beta in Kansas did is not a reflection of your success or failure as an alpha. If anything, it says more about the mess your father left for you.”

Shane’s brows tightened. “What do you mean?”

“Let’s see if this sounds familiar. No one dared question him? Was that out of respect or fear? What did he do to make them so submissive? What did you see and hear behind closed doors? Your father stressed? Paranoid? Was your dad a tyrant or a leader?”

Shane knew the answer, what he had known for years. “A tyrant.”

Dominic smirked. “And you didn’t want to be the alpha your father was because you saw that difference. A tyrant rules with an iron fist. He’s the one holding a whip, waiting, hoping someone will step out of line so he can make an example.” He held up a finger. “A leader holds no whip. His fist is open and soft.” He unfurled his fingers as if to make his point. “A leader uplifts his people. He looks for every chance to help, not punish. He still has rules and boundaries, and he holds firm to them, but only to keep chaos at bay, not to suffocate individuality or freedom.” Dominic lowered his hand. “When a tyrant dies, it leaves a power vacuum. Someone cut from the same cloth will seize that opportunity. The people may have two responses. They’ll bow to the new tyrant because they don’t know any better, don’t know they could have better. Or they will rise up and assert what they know they deserve. That’s how revolutions start.”

Dominic crossed his legs and Shane didn’t dare even twitch as he listened to what felt like a history or political science lesson.

“From what it sounds like to me,” the Prime Alpha continued, “your father left that vacuum and his old beta exploited it. And I stress that he was your father’s beta, because the moment he decided to take your pack from you, he was not your beta. You couldn’t have done anything to fix it. And those who allowed themselves to be swayed by him were no longer part of your pack. They held onto the security of having an alpha like your father. Those you brought here were ready for change. They were ready for a leader.”

Shane laced his fingers together and pressed the flesh between his knuckles. “I don’t feel like a leader.”

“I think you were, but you lost your head somewhere along the way.”

A little bit of the tightness in his chest loosened. Dominic was right, and Shane knew it was right too. He had all the good intentions the minute they came to Tolstone, but the noose of expectation tightened around his neck, forcing him to do things he wouldn’t have agreed with in a thousand years. Forsaking his pack’s input on their new home, kicking out Andy, making Cody and Thea feel unsafe. He poured himself into finding a good home for his pack but ignored everything else that mattered. In the stress of that task, he lost sight of what was important. Not to mention, the instances where he had to endure the mistrust of those who were close to him. Kimberly withheld the truth about her trauma, and he seemed to be the last to find out about the trouble within his pack. It magnified the insecurities he tried to smother, and he lashed out like the unhealed shifter that circumstances revealed him to be.

“Does this have anything to do with Kimberly leaving town earlier today?”

Shane sat straight up. “Where is she? Do you know if she’s okay?”

The Prime Alpha held up his hand as if that alone would settle Shane’s anxiety. “She’s gone to stay with her parents for a little while. She seemed really shaken up, according to Gage, but she didn’t want to talk about it. As far as I know, she’s safe.”

That knocked the breath out of him. To escape Shane, she took refuge in her father’s house. Their fight had driven Kimberly back into a lion’s den. She preferred the company of the man who made her feel inferior, because Shane probably wasn’t any better.

“By your miserable look, I’m right?”

Shane nodded sadly. “We had a fight about what I came to talk to you about. She gave me some genuine wisdom, a simpler version of what you said. But I didn’t want to listen, and I hit her where it hurt … I said she was barely a shifter because of her lack of dominance.”

Dominic hissed in a breath at the stinging insult. “Yeah, that was harsh.”

“And totally untrue. I’ve told her as much before, but … my father came out of my mouth. I hardly knew what I said until she slapped me and ran out.” Shane passed a hand over his eyes and sank deeper into the chair. “I spent so much time fighting his voice in my head that somehow, I let it consume me. I don’t even know how it happened.”

Dominic leaned forward on his knees, now putting himself lower than Shane. “When you walk out of here, at least take this bit of wisdom with you. It comes from someone who had his own struggles with alpha legacies. You don’t have to be your father. You are not obligated to his memory, and you definitely don’t have to be the kind of alpha he was or expected you to be. He was just a man doing his best, loaded down with the baggage we never saw as children. Being alpha is hard enough. To be an alpha, husband, and father may have been damn near impossible.”

Shane fought the snarl in his throat.

His thoughts went back to every one of his father’s decisions that made their home into a battlefield. “I don’t know if I could forgive him for all the shit he did and said, what he’s still saying in the back of my mind after all this time.”

“You don’t have to forgive him. Maybe just give him a bit of grace for the things you didn’t know about until you had to slide into his shoes.”

Shane looked at Dominic with the tiniest degree of suspicion. “This is coming from an alpha who’s been there?”

Dominic nodded. “I’ve been there. I thought about giving it all up at one point. But you know who helped me? Erica. She gave me a reason to be a better alpha, to take care of Tolstone the way it deserved. Without her, none of this would be here.”

Shane would have never guessed. Dominic carried himself like a true, born and bred alpha. He saw glimpses of it enough to assure him of that. Knowing he had his own struggles, that he had similar battles to fight in his own head, made Shane feel just a bit less crazy, less alone.

“And it’ll be hard to figure out,” Dominic continued. “The balance thing, I mean. But I have a feeling you can do it. I’ve heard enough stories from some of your pack. Just tune back in with your instincts, who you believe an alpha should be, and be it. Don’t let any outside influences tell you how to run your pack, especially not your father’s memory. You know your pack and they put their trust in you to bring them to a safe home. Start with that and work your way up again.”

Shane nodded and thought of a way to vocalize his appreciation before Dominic started again.

“As for Kimberly, she’s been through a lot. Give her some time to process. Gage told me how you two have a history, so maybe that’ll work in your favor in the long run.”

Shane winced. “I have a feeling I ruined whatever we could have had. What I said was too much. I don’t know how she could forgive me for that. I’ve broken too many promises.”

A knowing look graced Dominic’s face. “You’d be surprised how far love can carry you through some rough waters.” He thumbed toward the window that gave the perfect view of the blue house next door. “Erica was a tough nut to crack, and she had her own problems at the time. The mating bond helped a great deal with that, but the rest was hard work and a lot of high emotions. If Kimberly loves you the way Gage says she does, she’ll be back and it’ll work out.”