Page 185 of Love Felt Like This

But what do I say? I’m going back to Elk Grove. He’s in LA now. He’s going on tour. Where do we go from here?

My body feels ripped at the seams as he steps into the elevator.

No.

Don’t go.

But it’s selfish to ask him to stay.

He has his life, and I have mine. He’s achieving his dreams, and I’m hoping for mine. He has Ava. The band. A career.

Let’s run away together, Griffin.

He grips the strap of the guitar slung across his broad chest. His knuckles whiten.

“You’re gonna do great,” he says with a smile. “Good luck.”

The door starts to close, but my heart spirals up into my throat. I whip my hand out to pause the elevator door. The sensors register my palm and slide the doors back open.

“Isn’t it a bit too late for ‘good lucks’?” I tease.

“I didn’t mean with the pitch,” he says. “I meant with the show.”

“I don’t even know if I got it.”

“They’d be shit at their jobs if you didn’t.”

We exchange an almost infinitesimal smile. It feels like it lasts forever and yet not long enough.

The door starts to shut again, but I block it with my hand once more. He lifts a single teasing eyebrow.

“Sorry, it’s a weird thing,” I say.

“What is?”

“My hand. It keeps opening the door. Silly thing,” I joke.

He chuckles. And it’s beautiful and wonderful and deep in his chest. It’s everything to me. He’s everything to me.

I love you.

The words drop.

Whistle down the sky of my soul.

Explode.

Blow my heart to smithereens.

My mouth opens. “I…”

I love you.

The door tries to close again. Panic grips me. I whip out my hand, and the doors slide back open.

“See? Bad habit,” I joke, but I’m out of breath.

I love you.