Page 186 of Love Felt Like This

Maybe we could make it work. Maybe Europe isn’t so far from California or Elk Grove. Maybe our careers don’t matter at all.

He chuckles, and I know I’m wrong.

Our careers matter too much.

“I…” I lick my dry lips. I love you. “I hope you have fun on your tour.”

“And you have fun with your show.”

I love you.

“I’ll miss you,” I blurt out.

And suddenly…I don’t know what I expect. Maybe a smile. A laugh. Those crinkles beside his eyes. Instead, his face falls.

“I’ll miss you too, B,” he says quietly.

And God, maybe I ruined this moment. We were laughing, and I got too serious. I felt too much. Maybe he could tell what I wanted to say. Maybe it was on my face this whole time.

The doors start to slide together again, but then his hand whips out before mine can.

His weak smile peeks out beneath his beard.

“I guess my hand has the same issue,” he says.

The wings in my heart flutter so wildly it feels like I can fly. “It’s contagious.”

And a small part of me whispers, Maybe nothing else matters but us.

He laughs so quietly, it comes out as a breath. “Beverly…we…” His smile disappears. The creases between his eyebrows deepen. “We should tap the brakes for a bit.”

“Tap the…”

But the words get lost. I think my peripheral vision narrows.

Crash.

Boom.

My mouth opens and closes, then opens. “What?”

He’s leaving.

But I love you.

“So you can focus on your show,” he finishes.

“I…we don’t even know if I got it.”

“I do know. You’ve worked too hard for this not to. And I’ll be on tour. You’re stressed. You can’t be stressing about me too.”

“Yeah.” No. “You’re right.” That’s wrong.

You’re wrong.

What the hell is wrong with you, Griffin?

The doors start to slide together again, slowly, slowly, slowly…