Page 54 of One to Watch

Bea kept her face impassive, her tone deadened. “It’s no problem. Let’s call it a night.”

@Reali-Tea Ok y’all, time for this week’s kiss-off ceremony: Bea’s rocking a purple lip (shade: “You’re turning violet, Violet!”) and presumably dismissing some Barneys who’ve barely gotten camera time. Let’s see who gets the ax!

@Reali-Tea First kiss goes to Sam—no surprise there, how cute was their date?? Tho she really should have kissed him imo BEA IF YOU CAN HEAR ME, MAKE OUT WITH HOT MEN IN DISNEYLAND, OK?

@Reali-Tea Next up is football hero Wyatt, looking so cute in his sweater! Build me a fire, Wyatt! Bea looks so happy to see him and hug him, I seriously need these two to get their one-on-one next week. @MainSqueezeABS pls make this happen???

@Reali-Tea Third kiss goes to Luc, and if he thinks we didn’t all see him cop a feel when Bea leaned in to kiss him, HE IS SORELY MISTAKEN. (oh god she’s so lucky truly how soon until overnight dates????)

@Reali-Tea Kisses for Jefferson, Trevor, Jaime, and Kindergarten Ben. Snooze! Jefferson seems like he has potential, but he’d better make an impression soon, or he’s gonna get swept off with the rest of these also-rans.

@Reali-Tea Kisses, inexplicably, to Nash and Cooper???? Does Bea seriously not see that these two are GARBAGE, or is this blatant producer manipulation? Main Squeeze Nation, let us bow our heads and pray for the imminent removal of this human refuse.

@Reali-Tea Wait, is Bea kicking off Asher?? I know she was blindsided when he wouldn’t kiss her (same tbqh!!!!!!!), but it seemed like she liked him so much?? Hard to say now, though—he looks miserable, and so does she.

@Reali-Tea Phew! Asher gets the final kiss!!!! I have a feeling there’s more to come for these two—and I can’t wait to find out what it is.

EPISODE 4

“HOMECOMING”

(10 men left)

Shot on location in Cheshire, Ohio

SCRIPT OF MAIN SQUEEZE PROMOTIONAL AD

released 24 hours in advance of Season 14, Episode 4

OVER FOOTAGE OF A BLACK, STARRY SKY IN OUTER SPACE, WE HEAR A VOICE—

VOICEOVER

This week, on a brand-new episode of Main Squeeze, we’ll go boldly where no boyfriend of Bea’s has gone before …

ZOOM THROUGH HYPERSPEED TO … A QUAINT SUBURBAN HOUSE

VOICEOVER

Her parents’ house.

SFX: DOORBELL (ding-dong!)

VOICEOVER

We’ll find out what Bea was like as a child.

INSERT FOOTAGE: INTERVIEW WITH BEA’S PARENTS

BEA’S MOM, SUE

Beatrice never brought home any boys. We even thought for a while she might be gay, didn’t we, Bob?

VOICEOVER

We’ll see what her family thinks about her suitors.

INSERT FOOTAGE: INTERVIEW WITH BEA’S BROTHERS