Page 68 of One to Watch

“We met a lot of nice young men today,” Sue offered.

“Yeah?” Bea tried to smile. “Who did you like, Mom?”

“I liked that Sam very much. Didn’t we like him, Bob?”

Bob nodded; they did.

“He’s so young,” Sue went on, “but then, that’ll be why he’s so optimistic, isn’t it? It was nice, talking with someone so hopeful. And that Wyatt was sweet. And so handsome! Of course, we heard from your brothers all about that Frenchman of yours. Is he the one you think you’ll marry?”

“Sue.” Bob’s voice had a warning note.

“Bob, she’s supposed to get engaged, that’s the point, it’s why she’s doing this! If I’m not allowed to ask about this now, when am I?”

“It’s okay, Mom. I know this is something you want, and I want it too. I hate that I keep letting you down.”

Sue opened her mouth to speak, but Bob jumped in first. “Now wait, wait a minute, Bea. Do you think your mother and I are upset with you for being single?”

“Not upset.” Bea’s voice cracked on the second syllable. “Just, disappointed, obviously. The guys all have their wives, and kids, and I’ve just never been able to … I don’t know. It hasn’t been in the cards for me. And I’m so proud of my career, of everything I’ve accomplished.”

“So are we!” Sue protested.

“I know, Mom. I know you are. But when I come here, and I see all of you together—I want this so much. And it just feels impossible. Like you’re all living on this island, this place where people know how to love each other, and no matter what I do, I can’t figure out how to get there.”

“What happens when you try?” Bob asked gently.

Bea shook her head, crying in earnest now. “I drown, Bop. Every single time. I drown.”

Bob nodded tightly, tears in his eyes too. Sue smoothed back Bea’s hair.

“Safer to stay where you are then, isn’t it?” she coaxed. “Even if where you are makes you miserable.”

“What do I do, Mom?” Bea pleaded, feeling incredibly young. “I don’t know what to do.”

“You know,” Sue’s voice was raspy, absent her usual affected cheer, “when your father left—not Bob, your biological father—I thought I was done. A woman alone with four kids, no savings, this run-down house. I thought, Who could possibly want me?”

“Mom.” Bea exhaled. In her entire life, Bea could count the number of times she’d heard her mother talk about her biological father on one hand.

“The night he called to say he wasn’t coming home was the worst of my life,” Sue went on. “All you kids were asleep, or I thought you were, but then I heard you crying. So I went into your room, and you were standing in your crib, and you said, ‘Up me, Mama.’ That’s what you used to say, ‘Up me.’ So I picked you up, my sweet girl, and you were crying, and so was I. And I was so afraid, Bea. I didn’t know what I was going to do. If you think you’re hopeless, well, I was so far past that point, I was completely shut down. Until I met Bob.”

“And he made you believe again?”

Bob laughed. “Hell, no. Your mother didn’t want a damn thing to do with me.”

“Wait, really?”

Sue shook her head. “Between working and raising all you kids, I was completely in survival mode, focused on whatever was in front of me—I couldn’t possibly consider adding another person into the mix! Bob saw I was running myself ragged, and he offered to help. That first time he came to the house, that was when things started to change.”

“Because of you, Bean.” Bob rubbed Bea’s knee affectionately.

“Me?” Bea was bewildered. “How? Wasn’t I only five?”

“Four,” Bob corrected. “When I came over here, the whole place was chaos. Your brothers were running around the yard, your mother was trying to get dinner on the table, and I didn’t know how to help with any of it. Then you came running over to me, and you were about the cutest thing I’d ever seen. You had this big book of fairy tales, you remember? You never went anywhere without it.”

Bea pointed to the bottom shelf, where the tattered book in question still rested.

“That one there?”

Bob smiled. “The very one. You held it out to me, and you said, ‘Story?’ Bean, I don’t know how any man could say no to you, but I sure as hell never could. You were so trusting, you plopped right in my lap and we sat there and read for hours.”