Page 66 of Bless My Heart

What if I pushed him too far? What if he doesn’t want me anymore?

“Oh, shit.” Wes looks around the parking lot. “I forgot I rode here in the ambulance. Would you mind driving me home? I really don’t want to be in a car with Ozzy right now.”

“Yeah, sure.” My heart leaps with excitement at getting to be with him a little longer.

He gets in my car, looking looks so small smashed in the tiny passenger seat. I’m so used to seeing him in his Jeep, where he looks so larger than life.

I automatically make a left out of the lot to head home.

“Oh, I don’t actually know where you live,” I say. He gives me directions to his house but doesn’t make any other conversation. I don’t either because I’m not really sure what to say. My heart and my head are telling me two different things.

He finally directs me to a big white house at the end of Rage Road. It’s a beautiful house, and it makes me sad I’ve never seen it before. I know that’s my fault, really. I hate that I’m longing for some sort of connection with him. I mean, I’m the one who pushed him away. I should be happy he isn’t trying to jump my bones or convince me to let him back into my life.

But I’m not.

I put my car in park behind his Jeep in the driveway.

“Thanks for coming, and you know, for driving me home,” he says awkwardly. He keeps his gaze straight ahead instead of looking at me.

“Of course.” He moves to get out of the car. “Wes,” I say quickly to grab his attention. I squeeze my eyes shut. I don’t know what I want to say to him; I just know I don’t want him to leave.

He looks over his shoulder at me. I don’t fail to notice it’s the first time he has looked at me since we left the hospital. “Yeah?”

“I…I miss you.” Shit. I didn’t mean to say that. My mouth is moving without permission from my brain. My heart must be taking over my whole body. That’s the only explanation for this.

“What?” he asks, blinking slowly at me, trying to make sure he understood what I said.

I straighten my back and lift my head up. If I’m going to admit that I made a mistake, I need to at least be strong about it.

“I miss you.”

“Hazel … don’t fucking tell me this just to turn around and push me away again, ok? I’m done with these games.”

“I know.” Have I been playing games with him? Maybe. Maybe I just don’t feel like I’m good enough for him. Either way, my heart is betraying my brain right now, and there’s no stopping it.

“What do you miss?”

I look into his emerald green eyes, boring into my soul. “I miss talking to you.”

“That it?” he asks, unimpressed.

“I miss being around you. I miss telling you about my day. I miss watching you make us dinner. I miss us.”

“Why are you telling me this?” he asks with no emotion on his face.

I’m taken back a little. This isn’t the warm Wes that my heart is calling out for. This is a cold man I made by pushing and pushing until he finally broke.

“I don’t know. I guess…I’m just…I’m sorry,” I stutter out, sounding like a freaking idiot.

“You’re sorry?” he repeats slowly. He’s not going to make it easy on me, and I get it. I probably wouldn’t go easy on me either.

I sigh loudly. “Yes, ok. I realize I made a mistake.”

He doesn’t take his eyes off me. Both of us are silent for a moment.

“Hazel, I want you to be really sure you know what you’re doing here, ok?” He grabs my chin to make sure I’m looking at him. “I want you to go home and think about this. Because if we do this again, I’m not walking away ever again. Do you understand? This is it. You’ll be mine. No questions asked.” I nod my head as best as I can, his fingers surrounding my face.

“So, go home. Think about it. And call me when you’re ready. If I don’t hear from you by noon, I’ll know that means we truly are done.” He releases my chin, but not before his thumb runs gently over my bottom lip.