Page 67 of Bless My Heart

He opens the door and gets out of the car. I watch him walk all the way to his front door without once turning back to look at me.

I’m a little disappointed he didn’t just accept my apology right here, right now. But I understand he has to protect himself too. I’ve pushed him too far over the line. I’ve got to make it right.

I’ve got to show him that I’m serious.

CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

WES

My head feels cloudy waking up after the day from hell.

First my sister and then Hazel. I’m all over the place.

I’m mad at myself for not realizing Stella had fallen back into her old unhealthy habits. I also hate that I missed how she fell into my best friend’s arms.

She came here to live with us so I could keep an eye on her, and I fucking failed. I thought I was doing enough by asking her now and then how she was doing. I trusted her to tell me if something was wrong or if she needed help. But that’s the tricky thing about her situation; she didn’t realize she needed help until it was too late.

I should have actively been looking for signs, but I didn’t. I failed my baby sister, and I disappointed my parents. They trusted me with Stella, and I fucked it up.

I feel like I’ve been a disappointment to everyone recently.

Everything with Hazel has me so distracted. When I’m with her, I’m all consumed, and when I’m not with her, all I can think about is why she pushed me away.

I felt like I was doing okay despite a broken heart until yesterday when I caved and called her. My heart was hurting because of Stella, and I felt like I needed comfort from the person who holds my heart.

She came running when I called. I tried not to look too much into it, but then she started apologizing, telling me she had made a mistake.

I’ve wanted to hear those words since the day she kicked me out of her apartment. But I don’t want her to say them because she feels like she has to. I want her to say them because she really means them and is ready to be with me for real. No secrets. No insecurities. None of that bullshit. Just me and her. Living life together.

As much as I wanted to feel her pretty pink lips on mine, I sent her home instead. I want to make sure she’s absolutely positive about what she wants before telling me. I don’t want to get my hopes up for nothing. Because, fuck, a broken heart actually fucking hurts.

Waking up without her by my side when I know she would have easily let me in her bed last night really sucks.

I sit up, throw my legs over the side of the bed, and run my hands over my face. How did this semester flip my life around so much? It’s only been five months, and I feel like a completely different person.

I getin the shower to wash yesterday away. Last night after meeting my parents at the hospital, I was so tired that I came home, stripped down, and fell into bed.

I throw on some gray sweatpants and a black Henley. I’m not sure why I’m getting ready. I don’t have anywhere to go or anyone to see. I could easily just stay in bed all damn day. I doubt anyone would notice.

If I don’t hear from Hazel by noon, I can always head back to Atlanta. Normally Ozzy and I would hang, but I can’t even look at him. All I can think about is the shit I know he’s probably done with my little sister. I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to look at him the same again.

I go downstairs, and thankfully, no one is up yet. I’m not sure when Ezra is heading home for the winter break, but it’s probably soon. Ozzy never goes home, so I know he has to be around here somewhere.

I make some coffee and whip up some eggs and toast. Usually, I would make enough for everyone, but fuck ‘em. I don’t feel like it today.

I eat in silence, trying hard not to think about Hazel and what she’s thinking right now. I think about what I could do to pass the time. I could go on a run, but I really hate running. It’s too cold to go swimming. I could go to the gym, but that feels like too much work.

I walk back up to my room, deciding that I’ll just go try to do some Christmas shopping for my parents and Stella. Before I even step into my room to get changed, my phone rings from my nightstand. I left it upstairs because I didn’t want to seem too eager. But here I am, sprinting down the hall to get it.

“Hello?” I answer, trying not to sound like I’m out of breath from answering the phone before the call went to voicemail.

“Come over,” Hazel says. Her voice sounds like butter sliding over me.

“Are you sure you know what you’re doing?” I ask her again. I’m not throwing myself back into something just to get my heart broken all over again. The first time sucked. I can’t imagine the second time being any better.

“Yes, I know. Come over. I want to see you. I want to talk to you about this in person.”

“Ok,” I tell her.