Page 45 of Tequila Lime and Sunshine

My shoulders slump in defeat as he walks away. I’ll admit, I knew he’d be upset, but I didn’t think he’d be this angry. This situation is abnormal and a little uncomfortable, but it is a big deal. I hoped he would be happy that I was finally trying to have a relationship with someone. Everyone has been giving me shit for years about having commitment issues. He knows that. Here I am, putting my heart on the line, and he’s just stomping all over it.

I head back to my parents and sit down, making sure I’m as far away from Holden as possible. I would go back to my room, but I want to give Summer space to think and feel confident in her decision, no matter what the answer is.

When I finally go back to the room, she’s not there. Then Summer and her parents are noticeably absent from dinner. We had discussed doing a group goodbye dinner yesterday, but I guess they decided not to come given today’s events. If I know Summer, she’s probably too embarrassed to be around us, even though she has nothing to be embarrassed about. She doesn’t owe Holden anything, no matter how butt-hurt he is over the situation.

She’s still not in the room after dinner, so I shower and get in bed with my laptop to edit the pictures I took of her, not that they need much editing.

My eyes keep flickering to the door, waiting for her to walk in. I sit there for so long that I start to question if she’s coming back at all, but her stuff is still here, so she’ll have to face me eventually.

When I finally hear the key sliding into the door, my pulse skyrockets, and I shut my laptop, putting it on the table next to me.

“Hey.” My voice sounds so loud in the quiet room.

“Hey.” She looks at me. The quick glance reminds me of how she used to look at me before this trip when she was mad at me for how I acted as a teenager.

“Are you ok?”

She shrugs. “Yeah. I’m fine. Just trying to sort through everything.”

She takes a shower, and I wait patiently on my bed for her. I’m on my side when she comes out of the bathroom, expecting her to get into her bed, but she comes over to mine and pulls the blankets back on her side. She climbs in, facing me.

“Can I sleep here tonight?” she whispers.

“You don’t have to ask, Sunshine.”

She snuggles up to my bare chest, and I feel her soft breath on my skin. “Have you really always had feelings for me?” she asks.

“Always. You were everything to me back then, and when the two of you got together, I did the only thing I could to keep myself from falling apart and stayed away from you.”

Her leg tangles with mine, and I wrap my arm around her to pull her closer.

“I don’t want to be one of the girls you sleep with and never talk to again.”

I squeeze my eyes shut. I want to be mad at her for thinking I would do that, for believing the same thing that Holden does. But she’s only ever seen me move from woman to woman, so I can’t blame her.

“Summer, I would never do that to you. The only reason I was even with those women was that I couldn’t have you. I tried to get you out of my head, but it never worked. No one was ever you.”

She nods against me and kisses my chest. “I need some time, away from Mexico, away from this hotel room, to decide what’s best for me moving forward.”

I rub her back and answer. “I understand, Sunshine. Do what you need to do. I’ll be here when you’re ready.”

We fall asleep, tangled around each other, with me dreading having to tell her goodbye in the morning.

CHAPTER 23

Summer

My alarm goes off before I’m ready to untangle myself from Hawke’s warm body. This trip has been life-changing for me. My childhood and adulthood have collided in a way I never expected.

I want Hawke.

God, I want him to be mine so badly.

But I have to be realistic about this. We live across the country from each other. Am I crazy to expect Hawke, the man with a different woman on his arm every other week, to be in a long-distance relationship? I know he says he can do it, but I have my doubts. And even worse, I’m second-guessing myself. Will I be enough to keep him happy? I haven’t been able to for any of my previous boyfriends. How would Hawke be different? I don’t think I could lose him twice.

He shifts as I try to roll out from under his arm, mumbling something about mango juice that makes me smile before falling back asleep. I get changed and finish packing.

My flight leaves before everyone else’s today, so I’ll be riding to the airport by myself. Which is fine with me after yesterday’s incident. I don’t really want to face anyone today. It was bad enough talking to my parents about it last night. Thankfully, they were cool and completely understood. All they want is for me to be happy. They told me that Holden needed some time to cool down, so we stayed away from the group dinner. I was relieved when they suggested we do our own thing instead.