Page 44 of Tequila Lime and Sunshine

“No. I haven’t seen him yet.” She pulls her sunglasses down to look at me. “Is everything ok?”

I let out a loud exhale. “Not really.”

I sit on the edge of her lounge chair and run my fingers through my hair.

Mom doesn’t push me and waits for me to talk. I debate if I should say anything since Summer’s mom is sitting here, but I need to get it off my chest.

“Holden walked in on Summer and me, uh, together in our room.” Mom, to her credit, doesn’t gasp or look disgusted. She actually looks a little relieved. “And he got really pissed and stormed out. I followed him and tried to explain what was going on, but he wouldn’t listen.”

“And what is going on?” Mom asks.

That’s the question of the century, isn’t it? “I. . . I think I’m in love with her. I think I’ve always been in love with her. She’s finally seeing me as more than just her friend or Holden’s older brother. I just want her so bad. I don’t know how I can walk away from this without knowing she’s mine.”

Mom sits up and rubs my back the way she used to when I was a kid. “How is Summer feeling about all this?”

“I don’t know. I think she’s in shock. She doesn’t want to hurt Holden or cause a fight between brothers. I just poured my heart out to her and basically begged her to give me a chance.”

“What did she say?”

I blow out a breath. “She promised to think about it.”

“Oh, Hawke. I’m so sorry, son. I know you’ve always loved her.”

Summer’s mom chimes in. “Hawke, you know we all love you. Summer sometimes needs to process things on her own time. I’m sure she’ll come around.”

Their words are comforting, but until I hear from Summer, I can’t let myself believe it. If I get too excited and she shoots me down, I don’t know if I’ll be able to take it.

“What do I do about Holden?” I ask. Might as well deal with one issue at a time.

“He’ll come around too,” Mom answers. “You guys are brothers. I know you’ll work it out. He’s always had a soft spot for Summer, and I’m not sure he ever completely got over her after their breakup. He wanted her to give up everything to be with him, and she wanted the same thing from him. I don’t think Holden ever stopped hoping she would change her mind.”

Just then, Holden and Carly walk onto the beach. Holden still looks pissed, and Carly, bless her heart, looks a little confused, like she doesn’t know what’s going on.

Holden stops in front of us, eyeing Mom’s hand on my back. He scoffs. “You trying to get everyone on your side?” He practically spits the words at me.

“There aren’t any sides, Holden.” He rolls his eyes at me. “Can we talk?”

He huffs a laugh. “Not sure I want all the dirty details, bro.” I don’t like his tone, and our parents don’t need to hear this conversation. I stand and take his arm, pulling him toward the water so we’re out of earshot of everyone. Thankfully, he comes with me and doesn’t cause a scene.

“Holden, I’m sorry you had to find out like that.”

He scoffs and shakes his head. “Would you have even told me if I didn’t walk in on you?”

I figure I might as well be honest with him. “Well, I’m hoping Summer’ll give me a chance and let us start something. If she was interested in that, yes, I would’ve told you.”

He leans his head back and squeezes the bridge of his nose. “Hawke, you realize you’re telling me you want to date my ex-girlfriend. The first woman I was ever in love with. How do you expect me to take this news? Smile, clap you on the back, and say congrats? I won’t do that because I’m not ok with it. But you wouldn’t understand that because you’ve never been in a relationship. You’ve never cared about anyone but yourself.”

They say when you’re angry, the truth comes out. I’m getting a very clear view of how my little brother sees me. “That’s because I’ve only ever wanted Summer. That’s what I’m trying to tell you, Holden. I couldn’t be in a relationship with anyone else because it wouldn’t be fair to them. My heart has always been with Summer. I let you have her when we were kids, but this is my chance with her. I have to take it.”

“Oh, you let me have her, did you? Should I be thanking you?”

“Shit, that’s not what I meant. I just mean, I didn’t say anything. I backed off. I wanted you both to be happy.”

He looks me straight in the eyes, and I can feel the anger coming from them. “What if I asked you not to do this? What if I asked you not to date her? Would you back off?”

I’m shaking my head before I can think better of it. “No, I don’t think I could. If she wants something with me, then I’m all in.”

“Then I think this conversation is done, Hawke.”