Page 47 of Tequila Lime and Sunshine

He sighs before answering. “If Hawke makes you happy, I won’t stand in the way. I just ask that you really think about it, Summer. Hawke’s never been in a relationship. I don’t want either of you to get hurt.”

“I know. And that’s why I haven’t decided whether I want to give this thing between us a shot.”

“Well, if it’s any consolation, he poured his heart out to me, telling me how much he cares about you. I think it’s pretty serious for him. If there’s a woman out there that could make him settle down, it would probably be you.”

I smile at the thought of Hawke settling down and being a one-woman man. Before this trip, I wouldn’t have thought it was possible, but now, I’m not so sure. Hawke gave me all of his attention, spent time with me and made me feel special, and helped me with my pictures. Everything I’m looking for in a partner.

“Thank you for being so understanding, Holden.”

“I’ll admit it breaks my heart a little. I’ve always thought of you as mine. You were my first love. Thinking of you with anyone else, especially my own brother, doesn’t feel great. But I’ll try to be chill about it now that I’ve had a chance to think it through and talk to you. You’re right. As much as it sucks to admit it, we weren’t right for each other, but maybe you and Hawke are.”

“Yeah, maybe.”

The maybe doesn’t sit well with me. It feels wrong leaving Hawke here. But I don’t want to rush anything. I’ve got to make sure this is the best decision for both of us.

My car pulls up behind us, and the bellhop puts my bags in the trunk.

“Well, it was good to see you again, Summer. I’m glad you’re happy, and I hope everything works out for you.”

“Thanks, Holden.”

I slide into the back seat of the car, but my stomach sinks as it takes off. I miss Hawke already. I imagine him lying in bed, his hair a rumpled mess, the small smile on his face when he sleeps. I’m going to miss our breakfasts, the way he grabs onto my pinky, the way he uses any excuse to touch me.

As the resort disappears from view, it takes all that I have not to start crying.

* * *

When my plane lands, I open up my messages to a picture from Hawke of my empty chair at our breakfast table at the resort. Underneath, it says, Missing you. My stomach flutters, knowing he’s still thinking of me. I feel like a giddy teenager with a huge crush. I add a ‘love’ reaction to the picture before I’m even off the plane.

I call Asher on my way home from the airport. I’m usually excited about getting home, but New York doesn’t feel like home right now. Asher drops what she’s doing and meets me at my apartment.

She wraps her arms around me when she sees me. I must look like I need to be comforted.

“Ok, we’re going to have some serious girl talk. I brought stuff to make mocktails for me and cocktails for you.” She grabs the bag of ingredients at her feet.

I unlock my door and roll my suitcase in, surveying my apartment. It looks exactly the same as I left it, but I feel completely different.

Asher sets up in my small kitchen and grabs some glasses. “Listen, I just want you to know that I got some serious looks when I bought this vodka at the liquor store. Apparently, people aren’t used to seeing a pregnant woman buying alcohol. I had to explain to the cashier that I wasn’t buying it for myself.”

I laugh at her. “Thank you for the sacrifice.”

She mixes our drinks, and I sit on the edge of my bed as she hands me my glass. “So, tell me everything.”

“I don’t even know where to start. I went on this trip for some family time and ended up leaving with my heart all twisted up. He wore me down little by little until I felt like I couldn’t go another second without him. And everything was going fine until Holden caught us, and then it felt like everything came crashing down. I let myself get too attached to someone I knew I couldn’t have, and on top of that, I think it put a strain on Holden and Hawke’s relationship. I feel terrible about it.”

She takes a sip of her mocktail. “Summer, you know I love you.”

I know where this is going. “But?”

“But, I don’t think you should feel responsible for Holden and Hawke’s relationship. Hawke knew the risks before he started putting the moves on you. That was his decision. And Holden can be mad at his brother all day long, but he broke up with you. His opinion doesn’t matter.”

“I know. I just feel terrible.”

“That’s because you care so much about everyone else. But you need to figure out what you want. What’s best for Summer.”

“Ugh, I know. I’ve had such bad luck dating. I’m terrified to get my heart broken again.”

“Well, all the guys you’ve dated have been in New York. Maybe it’ll be good for you to date someone across the country.”