Page 58 of Crossed Lines

Beck gave me a freaking cupcake with a heart on it last week. He presented it to me on a cute little plate the second I got to his house. It was adorable. He looked so proud of it. I took a picture and saved it as the wallpaper on my phone. It actually looked pretty decent, too. Better than the sprinkle-covered monstrosities Jade made, which Beck and I had a good laugh about when Jade wasn’t paying attention.

I push those thoughts out of my head because I’m tackling the first issue this morning. I’ve got to tell Sawyer that I’m going to Italy.

I have a later start to work for Beck today, but I’m still up early. I want to talk to Sawyer before he leaves for work, which is why I’m already in the kitchen getting the coffee pot ready when he walks in.

“What are you doing up?” he asks, rummaging through the cabinets for a Pop-Tart. Breakfast of champions.

“Can a girl not get up to tell her brother to have a good day?” I ask.

He huffs a laugh. “Sure, but not you. I know you’d rather be sleeping.”

He’s got me there. On days I don’t have to be at Beck’s early in the morning, I stay in bed as long as I can.

“Actually, I was hoping to talk to you about something if you have a minute.” It’s stupid how nervous I am about this. I know he’s going to be happy for me.

“Sure, what’s up?” He grabs a mug from the cabinet and pours himself a cup of coffee.

“I wanted to talk to you about next semester.”

His shoulders sag. “Please don’t tell me you’re dropping out.”

“What? No!”

“Thank god. I would be so pissed with you being as close as you are.”

“No, no. It’s not that. I’m actually thinking about studying abroad next semester. Well, not thinking about it. I am studying abroad next semester. I’m going to Italy.”

His eyes go wide, and he sets his cup down on the counter. “What? That’s amazing, Wills! That’s such a great opportunity for you.” He hugs me tight as he congratulates me. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

“Well, I wanted to make sure I had the money to do it before I told you.”

“Oh, it’s more than the usual semester fees?” he asks.

“Yeah. That’s actually why I wanted to work this summer. So I could save up the rest.”

“Ah. I see. And you didn’t want to ask me for help?” he asks as the realization hits him. “Wills, you know I woulda⁠—”

“I know. But you’ve done so much for me. I didn’t want to take any more of your money, and I wanted to do this on my own. I knew if I told you, you’d try to help,” I explain.

“Of course I would. That’s what Mom and Dad would’ve done.”

“But you’re not my mom or dad, Sawyer. You took care of me, and while I appreciate everything you’ve done for me, I’m an adult now. It’s not fair that you have to keep sacrificing for me. You lost your parents too, ya know.”

He lets out a deep breath. “I know. But I like doing things for you, Willow. I want to make sure you have everything you need. I want to make them proud.”

“I know they are proud. Of both of us.”

“I hope so. Come here.” He gives me another hug, and, honestly, nothing hits quite like a big brother bear hug. At least for me, anyway. When he pulls back, he says, “But no more secrets, ok? If you want to do things on your own, I’ll only be a little offended.”

I roll my eyes. “Sawyer.”

He laughs. “I’m kidding. I’ll respect your decision. I know you’re an adult now, but you’ll always be my little sister. I think in a way, having you to focus on helped me with my own grief.”

As close as Sawyer and I are, we’ve never really discussed our feelings around our parents’ accident. I think my feelings were pretty obvious since I was a kid, but Sawyer was an adult. He had to put on a brave face for me. “And I’ll always appreciate everything you’ve done for me. But I want you to focus on yourself for once.”

He blows out a breath. “Alright, if you insist.” He grabs his lunchbox from the fridge. It’s funny seeing him being all responsible and packing his lunch the night before work. “I gotta head out. You working late at Beck’s?”

“Yep. So you can go to your girlfriend’s house.”