Page 67 of Crossed Lines

When he opens his eyes again and stares up at me, I’m in disbelief.

Beck and I had sex.

I let out a little gasp when he pulls me against him and flips us. He pulls out and kisses me gently before saying, “Stay right here. I’ll be right back.”

“Yes, sir.”

He growls, making me smile, before walking to his bathroom to clean himself up.

When he comes back, he cleans me with a warm washcloth, then climbs in and pulls me into his body. “Are you alright?”

“I’m more than alright. I’ve had the best summer, and this was the perfect ending to it.”

“Mmhm.” His fingers trail along my bare stomach.

“Just promise me one thing,” I say.

“Anything, baby.”

“Don’t regret this night, ok? Tonight was special. It was ours. And no matter what happens when I’m gone, I want us both to remember how much this moment meant for us.”

“That’s an easy promise. I could never regret you, Willow.”

He pulls me in tighter, and I listen to his breath start to slow. I wish I could stay here forever, but Sawyer and I are driving back to my university early in the morning. Macy’s parents are paying for our apartment this last year, even when we’re gone. We’re planning on moving our stuff in before we get back in December.

Once I know Beck has fallen asleep, I carefully slide his arm off me and roll out of his bed. He shifts slightly, and I wait to make sure he doesn’t wake up. When his eyes stay closed, I gather my clothes and start putting them back on.

It’s chicken of me not to wake him up and say a proper goodbye, but I know I’ll start crying, and I don’t want his last memory of me from this summer to be me bawling my eyes out.

Before I leave, though, I kiss him on the cheek and whisper, “I love you.”

He doesn’t move or wake up at my declaration. He doesn’t even know that I said it, but I needed to get it out for my own sake.

I’ve loved Beck for years, but this summer, I fell in love with him. It’s going to rip my heart to shreds to leave him, but I wouldn’t change anything that happened.

With one last glance over my shoulder at his sleeping form, I leave his bedroom.

I find some scratch paper in a drawer and write both Beck and Jade a note.

I fold them up, write their names on them, and leave them on the counter in a spot I know they’ll see in the morning.

Then, as quietly as I can, I leave the house and make the silent drive back to Sawyer’s. It’s not until I’m tucked into my bed that I let the tears fall. I’ll let myself have one night to cry. One night to wallow in my heartbreak. But tomorrow, I need to move on. Just like I know Beck and Jade will.

CHAPTER 24

Beck

AUGUST

It’s been two weeks since Willow left in the middle of the night without a goodbye. Although I guess we said goodbye the best way we could. But when I woke up in the morning and she was gone, I felt empty. And I didn’t even get a chance to really process it because I immediately heard Jade’s door open. Being a parent is hard on its own, but it’s even harder when you’re going through something and you have to pretend like you’re not so that your child won’t know.

That morning, I had to hold Jade while she cried over Willow’s note, where she talked about how much fun she had over the summer and how much she would miss Jade.

My note said:

Beck,

You’re a good man. The best, really. I’m so lucky to have you in my life. Thank you for the best summer. I know I’ll see you again.