Page 70 of Crossed Lines

She turns to the bartender and orders more shots. I almost tell her not to, but then I think, what the hell. I don’t have to worry about Jade tonight, and I’m not driving anywhere. Might as well try to have a little fun to momentarily get my mind off Willow and what she might be doing in Italy.

We clink our glasses together again and throw the shots back.

Hours later, someone deposits me on my couch. It’s probably Brooks, but I’m too tired and too drunk to really think about it. He sets out water and makes me swallow some ibuprofen. Then he puts the trash can from the bathroom beside the couch in front of me in case I get sick.

I hear the front door close and think about falling asleep but dig my phone out of my pocket instead.

I blearily scroll through all the pictures I took of Willow this summer. Seeing her smiling face eases something in my chest. I hope she’s having fun in Italy, but I also hope she’s thinking of me.

I pull up my texts. I’ve tried to give her space. I want her to live her life. But I also want her to know that I’m thinking about her. Every fucking second of the day, unfortunately.

Me: I miss you

I wait to see if those stupid little dots pop up. I stare at it for so long until I can’t keep my eyes open for a second longer. Then I drift off to sleep, not knowing if she misses me too.

CHAPTER 25

Willow

AUGUST

I miss you.

Beck’s text message plays through my mind every single day since he sent it four days ago. I was sleeping when he sent it, but I texted him back as soon as I woke up.

Me: I miss you too <3

I was surprised that he messaged me to begin with. I thought he would’ve wanted a clean split. After all, he spent all summer telling me we couldn’t be anything more than friends. I promised him one night and that no one would know. I’ve kept that promise. I didn’t even tell Macy that we slept together, and I’ve tried to not text or call him so that he can have his space. Get his life back to how it was before I showed up again.

But he said he missed me first.

He misses me. And I can’t stop wondering why he sent that and then nothing afterward. Yeah, I’ve heard nothing from him since. I’m trying not to let it consume me. After all, I’m in Italy with my best friend, living our best lives. But Beck is always on my mind. How could he not be? Just because I don’t see him every day doesn’t mean I don’t still love him. Or Jade, for that matter. I want to know how she’s doing in school. I want to see her dressed in her cute new outfits we picked out. I want to be there with both of them.

But my days here are pretty busy, so it’s easy to keep myself distracted. Macy and I spend our mornings teaching English to kids in Italy and our afternoons in class at the University in Rome. So far, we’ve made it to the Colosseum, Trevi Fountain, and the Vatican. We spend our evenings eating delicious food and drinking wine with our classmates. It’s everything I could’ve possibly wanted.

But every sight I see, every delicious pasta I eat, every spoonful of gelato I have, I store it in my mind in hopes that one day I can come back here with Beck and Jade and experience it again with the two of them.

“Why the long face?” Macy asks, sitting down across from me in the little cafe near our dorm. She slides my americano across the table.

I quickly smile, wiping away any evidence that I was deep in thought. “Oh, I don’t know. Just thinking I guess.”

“About?”

“School,” I say quickly. We do have a fairly large amount of work to do. Not that I mind, especially when we’re in Rome.

“Girl, quit lying to me.”

My brows furrow. “What?”

“When are you going to admit that you miss your cowboy?” she asks.

“I-what?”

“Come on, Willow. I’m your best friend. I know something is up. You haven’t spoken a word about Beck since you showed up at our apartment with Sawyer. I know you can’t go from seeing him every day to not thinking about him at all.”

I sigh, and my shoulders fall. I bring my hands up to my face to cover my eyes. “God, I miss him so much.”

“There it is.” I drop my hands and see her smile. “You don’t have to hide it from me.”