Page 69 of Crossed Lines

“Yeah…”

“Alright, man, I’ll leave you to it. But seriously, if you need anything, you know where to find me.”

I nod and get back to work as he walks off. I’m lucky to have such great friends. Unfortunately, I’ve betrayed one of my best friends, and he doesn’t even know it. I’ve been so stuck in my head about Willow that Sawyer has barely crossed my mind. I know he’d be pissed if he found out that I slept with her. But at this point, I’m so far gone for her that I don’t even care. Which makes me feel even shittier than I did before.

I sigh and use my shovel to lift the actual shit from the stall and into the wheelbarrow and wonder how much worse my life can get before I get a fucking break.

If I thought getting out of the house would help me get out of my funk, I was wrong. The engagement party is even worse than I thought it would be. I’m surrounded by happy couples and flowers and hearts and… love. It’s terrible. And all it does is make me think of Willow.

“Look at us,” Harper slides up next to me at the bar. “The last two single people in all of Blue Haven.”

I huff a laugh. “Yeah.”

“Here.” She hands me a shot glass full of clear liquid. “Cheers to us.”

I clink my glass with hers and then down the liquid. It burns but feels good. Anything has to feel better than this stupid heartbreak.

“Where’ve you been?” Harper asks me. I feel like I’ve barely seen her all summer. Although she does spend most of her time in the lodge or guest houses. With as busy as we’ve been, it makes sense that our paths haven’t crossed much this summer.

I shrug. “Around. Been busy.”

“Jade back in school?” she asks.

“Yep, and Gemma’s back.”

“I’m sure Jade was happy to have her mom back.”

I nod. She was happy to see Gemma again. I’m glad she came home when she did because it softened the blow from Willow leaving. My heartbreak is one thing, but Jade’s… nah, I can’t handle that.

“You think you’ll ever get married, Harp?” I ask suddenly, watching from across the room as Brooks puts his hand on Aspen’s stomach.

“Hell, I don’t know. I thought I would, but I think I’m doing alright on my own.” She looks at me. “Why?”

“Just wondering. Never seen you with a boyfriend.”

She laughs. “That’s because I know you two will give me hell for any man I bring around. But honestly, no one’s met my criteria. It’s fun for awhile but then it fizzles out. If I get married, I want passion. I want someone who wants me more than anything else. Like Brooks is with Aspen. That man knows how to love her.”

“Yeah.”

“What about you? You thinkin’ about getting married?” she asks.

I shrug. The thought might’ve crossed my mind more recently than it used to, but for now, I think I’d take just being in the same country as the woman I can’t stop thinking about. “I don’t know.”

She bumps her shoulder into mine. “You know you’ve actually got to talk to a woman to make that happen, right?”

I roll my eyes. “Yes, I know.”

“And that requires leaving the ranch every now and then,” she teases.

“Shut up.”

“Alright, alright. But for real, Beck. You deserve to be happy. If that means finding the woman of your dreams and getting married, great! And if that means living like a hermit in your house with Jade, that’s cool, too. I’m always here if you need to talk.”

It’s on the tip of my tongue to lay out everything that happened between Willow and me. I know she’d understand. Honestly, I’m surprised Brooks didn’t already tell her. Those two hardly ever keep a secret from each other, but I’m grateful that he did. I don’t think I’m ready to talk about Willow to anyone. And I definitely know I’m not ready to admit my feelings for her out loud.

“I appreciate you, Harper. You’re too good to us,” I tell her.

She chuckles. “Yeah, I know.”