Page 25 of AJ’s Fire

He’d said it like he was confessing something, or like he was embarrassed. To me, it was the best thing he could have said.

“Shit, bro. I’ve missed you too!” So I can help, I thought to myself. “Let’s keep hanging out. We don’t have to party every night. Maybe we could do other stuff. You know, go to the movies, or, oh, they give those talks sometimes at the Y. And the chief really wants us to help out with that fundraiser.”

Jackson punched me in the arm like he’d done a million times before. I swear it felt like fireworks had exploded all around us. And it wasn’t just the comfort of him acting like his old self around me. Like my calf a few minutes before, it was as if his mere touch had ignited my whole body.

“Stop. You don’t want to do any of that shit. You want to go out and get laid! Please, really, it’s important to me that you don’t stop doing what you want. Especially that. You can’t just stop because I am.”

“Are you saying I can’t pick up at a lecture at the community center? It’s like you don’t even know my skills, man. Haven’t you been paying any attention the last five years?”

“Oh, I am well aware of your skills. But …”

“Nope, not up for discussion. I want us to go back to spending time together.”

“I guess I’ll look up the lecture schedule at the Y, then.” But Jackson’s phone buzzed again as he was picking it up, and I could see him subtly adjust his position on the couch so I couldn’t see whatever, or whoever, it was. My buddy still had a secret, and it just felt like I was supposed to be the one to help him deal with it.

Chapter Eight

Jackson

A few weeks after we watched the game at Jamie’s, AJ and I were hanging out at the station when I got a call from my mom.

“Yes, Mom. Emily and I will be traveling up together. You know I hate the drive. We could have Christmas in the city …” I rolled my eyes at AJ who was lounging on the couch next to me, our matching sets of department-issued boots propped up on the coffee table. Mom was knocking down my idea of having Christmas in the city as I knew she would.

“I know ... Everyone will be there ... Yes, of course, I’m happy to sit with Emily’s family at the club, we always do.” I shrugged at AJ, who was looking at his phone, pretending not to listen but also laughing at me. “No, Mom, of course I don’t know what color she’s wearing.”

I hit the mute button and leaned my foot over to tap AJ’s. He pulled his head up from his phone to look at me. “I swear having Christmas Eve at the club is like going to the fucking prom. I moved here to get away from this shit.”

I quickly unmuted to give my mom an “uh-huh” as she continued to talk, and AJ quietly whispered as he held up his phone. “I texted her. She’s wearing red.” I silently laughed at my friend.

“No, Mom, the next day. I told you. AJ invited me to brunch with his mother and stepfather. They showed up yesterday and are here through the holiday. Yes.” I looked at AJ apologetically before I continued. “Yes, he’s the one with the widowered brother … Well, he’s my best friend, of course I would be there for him at a time like that. No, Mom, it’s not like that; we’re just going to a pub near the fire station. Okay, Mom … See you soon … Love you too.”

“Ugh’” I tossed my phone between the two of us on the couch.

“Can’t I come upstate with you and Jamie?” I whined. “Really, AJ, Christmas Eve at the country club, it’s torture! You know, events like that are the reason Ems and I are such good friends. When we were young, we’d sneak off, or sit in a corner and make fun of people … What? What’s that look for? Stop glaring at me!”

“What do you think the look’s for?”

“No fucking clue. Aje?” I responded in mock frustration.

“I’m just saying, you may want to tone down the ‘poor little me, having to go to the country club’ routine. It sounds a little …” He didn’t need to finish, and I appreciated that he was reluctant to put a name to it.

“I know, you’re right. Actually, it sounds a lot elitist, and I’m being an asshole. But hey, I’m looking forward to finally meeting your mom before I go. Oh! And let me show you this bag I got for Vera. It’s for dance class.” I found a picture of the bag I’d ordered on my phone and held it out across the couch. “Look, it’s even got her name on it. It got here last night.”

I felt my phone vibrate while I was shoving it in AJ’s face and pulled it back quickly. I’d received a match on Guys4Guys and had been chatting with a guy who also claimed to be curious and new to dating men. He and I had kept up a light conversation over the course of the last week while AJ and I had gone to a movie, watched another night of football with Jamie at his place, and picked Vera up from school to take her to dance class. AJ insisted I attend, telling me he thought one of the moms might actually be a potential date for New Year’s Eve. Despite all the time we were spending together, I did not share with AJ that I was chatting up a possible New Year’s Eve date for myself on a gay dating app.

AJ tapped my foot as I’d done to him. “That phone of yours pings all the time these days. You gonna tell me who you’re talking to?”

“No one,” I may have said too defensively and while tucking my phone to my chest.

“Uh-huh.” He drew the sound out as if he didn’t believe me. “Okay, so if it’s no one, then can we ask Casey to join us on New Year’s Eve?”

“It’s practically Christmas, Aje. She probably already has plans. Besides, I might, maybe”—it was my turn to draw the word out“—have a date of my own.”

“Ah-ha! I knew it!”

In the end, it was Casey who joined us on New Year’s Eve. Casey was a waitress from Lucy's Taphouse who had been witness to my antics over the years but had never succumbed to my charms. On more than one occasion, it was Casey helping AJ or me, or AJ and me into a cab to make sure we got home safely. She and Emily had become fast friends since they’d met at Lucy's Taphouse, and Emily invited us all to her penthouse before our dinner reservation on New Year’s Eve.

Emily opened the door, scowling, and I walked in holding two bottles of champagne.