Page 80 of Josh’s Play

I replied: Uncle Josh is somewhere where he can get a good night's sleep.

To which my brother Caid retorted: doubtful

I shoved the phone back in Cam’s face. “Look at my brother Jamie. I haven’t seen him smile like that in forever. Shit, I don’t remember him ever really smiling like that since, like, way before his wife died. I wonder what’s up with him.”

Cam kissed the top of my head. “I’ll get you up and out early on Sunday so you don’t miss the Easter Bunny.”

“Actually.” I sat up, and Cam followed. We were sitting cross-legged and facing each other. “I think I might want to go back early. I’m feeling pretty shitty about how much I’ve kept from Devon these past few months. I mean, he’s been acting weird, too, but that doesn’t excuse it. If you’re okay with it, I’ll head out tomorrow so I can tell him about us. Then maybe I can tell the rest of my family on Sunday. I don’t have to rush right out in the morning, though. I’ll help with mucking the stalls or whatever because I really want to watch you playing farmer boy before I bounce.”

Cam leaned in and kissed me before maneuvering us back to the bed, my head back on his chest. “You mean you want to watch me teach my boyfriend how to shovel shit out of a horse stall.”

“That’s not at all what I said.”

Cam ignored my comment. “Of course, you should go early and talk to Devon. I’m so sorry about all the secrets. But he’s your best friend, and you shouldn’t have to hide in front of him.”

“Maybe he’ll even tell me what’s up with him, cuz God knows, I have no idea what’s been going on with him these past few months. It’s like he’s a different person since he came back from Brooklyn.”

Campbell wrapped me tighter in his arms. “I’ll miss you, baby. But it’s time you told him, and your family. Let’s get some sleep and I’ll get you out of here by lunchtime tomorrow.” I closed my eyes and fell asleep to the rhythm of Campbell’s breathing.

I refrained from commenting that I usually only saw the sunrise if I’d been up all night as I followed Cam to the barn the next morning and had breakfast with the family before heading back to Hampstead.

I settled in the car and texted Devon before I took off. The message went undelivered, and I didn’t hear any notifications as I was driving. I set up my music app and searched for a charger wire since I’d forgotten to pack one and had been too distracted to ask Cam for one. Mom didn’t have one in the car, but I was pretty sure my phone could handle the GPS and a little music since the ride was only a bit more than an hour long.

I may have played some stupid headbanging rock on my way back, singing along like an idiot, excited to finally share with my best friend more of what I’d been going through since I’d met Campbell Ryan in HU’s physical therapy office all those months earlier.

I dropped the car at home and walked back to campus, my duffle bag slung over my arm and earbuds firmly in place.

The dorm was really quiet, with no activity in the lobby. I rode the elevator alone, singing softly about paying my dues as I exited and walked down the hall, anticipation building as I thought about talking to Devon. I picked up my pace and threw the door open as I sang along to my boyfriend’s playlist.

I had texted Cam as I was walking back to campus, and he’d texted me back as I was fishing out my key, so I was looking at my phone as our stupid door slammed loudly behind me.

There was rustling from Devon’s bed, and I was about to chide him about sleeping in when I noticed that my message to him was still unread. I finally looked up, realizing that Devon was not alone in his bed.

“About fucking time, Dev! I was worried about your dry spell,” I blurted. Devon and I were good about telling each other when we needed the room, but I had told him I wasn’t coming back until Sunday, and it wasn’t like it was the first time we’d walked in on each other. I was happy for the dude and decided to tell him so before slipping back out and leaving him to it.

“Dude! I’m kinda busy here!” There was subtle movement under the sheets, and much as part of me wished the guy would go so I could talk to my best friend, neither of them made a move. Guess I’d have to talk to Devon later.

Cam sent another text, and I sent a quick heart before responding to Devon.

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll go. But this won’t take all day, right? We can hang later?”

“Dude!”

Not wanting to invade the guy’s privacy, I went from looking at my phone to looking at the floor, and that’s when I saw the toy I’d bought for Devon for his birthday the year before.

“Oh! You are having fun.”

“Josh, man! Get the fuck out of here!”

“Going! I’m going.” I took a step back before remembering. “Shit! My charger. Sorry, sorry.” Eyes averted I went to my side of the room, dodging the clothes that littered the floor. I sniggered, thinking about how I was usually the one to leave a mess all over our shared floor. I turned to leave, and as I did, the sheet covering most of Devon and his hookup fluttered, and I could see the man lying naked underneath my best friend.

I couldn’t look away. I really, really fucking wanted to, but disbelief held me there, like if I stared long enough, the unbelievable vision before my eyes would blip back to nonexistence.

“Josh …” I heard my name, and I knew it was my brother who said it. My eldest brother, my until-very-recently straight eldest brother. My eldest brother, who was naked in bed in my dorm room with my best friend.

Devon sat up and rested against the wall facing me, making sure his lap and Jamie’s remained covered. Jamie scooted into a seated position as well, resting on the wall at the head of the bed.

Devon said it next. “Josh.” I finally tore my eyes from the two of them and looked around the room, hoping to find someplace safe to lock on to. That’s when I saw it again. The teardrop that I had bought and that might have just come out of …