Page 82 of Josh’s Play

“And Jamie’s straight! Or at least he was until … Oh God, until he met my best friend!”

“Well, he did come out.”

“And he’s like twenty years older than us.”

I sighed, remembering the night before, when Josh had shown me a picture of his niece, his brother smiling in the background.

“And he has a kid, Cam! I know you don’t know Dev, but I mean, he’s basically like me. Well, maybe he’s a little more focused, and mature, and neater, and more goal oriented. Never mind, he’s nothing like me. He’s really focused on his future, but I’ve never once pictured him with kids! It’s not something we’ve ever talked about. Vera’s my niece, Cam, and she’s been through so much for someone so young. What if she gets hurt? What if my brother gets hurt? What if my best friend gets hurt? It’s too much, Cam.”

“Close your eyes, baby.” He looked up at me from his comfortable position, and I increased the pressure on his scalp just a little to hopefully help alleviate some tension.

“For me, please.”

He nodded under my hand, and those stormy eyes were closed a second later.

“You remember that picture of Vera from yesterday.”

He sighed. “Yesterday seems like a lifetime ago.”

“I know, baby, but picture your brother. What did you say to me?”

Josh finally sat up. “I know what I didn’t say! I didn’t say, ‘Wow, he looks so relaxed! He must be dicking down a guy half his age!’”

“Josh. Come on. Be fair. You said he looked happy, right?”

Josh looked deflated, and his voice changed to match the vibe. “No. I said it was the happiest I’d seen him in a really long time. Fuck.” Josh covered his face with his hands and flopped back into a prone position.

“Think about it, Josh. Does any of the other stuff really matter? No, wait, don’t answer that. The stuff about your niece matters, of course. But truly, in your heart of hearts, do you think Jamie, or Devon, would do anything to hurt her?”

Through his hands, Josh agreed with me. “No, of course not. Jamie will always put Vee first. I’m sure of that.” His hands gave way as I responded.

“So knowing that, believing that, does the other stuff really matter? What is an age difference if they care about each other? What does it matter that they met because of you, or that it took your brother all this time to come out?”

Josh let out an anguished little grunt and mumbled, “They lied to me.”

“And you’ve been lying to them too,” I reminded him softly. “You’ve had good reasons. Or I guess, understandable reasons. Maybe they have too?” He grunted again, and I brought the focus of the conversation back to Jamie. “I know you’ve been worried about your brother. He really does seem happy now, right? It’s not just the one picture?”

Josh sat up again with a sigh. “I don’t know,” he mumbled. “Last time I saw him? He seemed … flushed. Oh my God, Campbell, it was awful! They were lying there. On. Top. Of. Each. Other. There were clothes everywhere. And butt plugs!” he concluded, flailing his arms in the air, but his tone was lighter, and I hoped he was maybe starting to find the humor in the situation.

“More than one butt plug? Sounds hot.”

“Okay, first of all, ew. THAT’S MY FUCKING BROTHER YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT! Also, what do you know about butt plugs?” Josh was finally smiling, and I felt like I could smile again too.

I gently pushed Josh’s shoulder until he was lying flat on the bed, then I crawled on top of him and started kissing his neck, hitting a spot that had him arching up and huffing in my hair. I hoped it would prove to be a good distraction. When I made it to his ear, I whispered, “I may have learned about a few things since I met you.” He pushed on my shoulder with a frustrated grunt until I propped myself up on my hands to look down at him, my hair flopping in front of my face. He sat up against the headboard and sighed.

“I just … I guess I always pictured Devon and me being the same way we’ve been since we met. Just a couple of partying man wh⁠—"

“Sex-positive single men,” I interrupted and corrected him.

“Yeah, something like that.” His eyes danced, and he quirked a small smile.

“But that’s not you anymore, and maybe it’s not him either. You guys have both made some pretty big changes. I think maybe it’s time the two of you talked about them. Try to be happy for them, Josh, same as you would want Devon to be happy for us even though I know he sees me as the horrible asshole who was shitty to you at a party, and who's making you hide in the closet.”

“Cam …”

“One major life crisis at a time, okay, babe. Let’s focus on you and Devon.”

“I’m not ready to face them just yet. Can I maybe stay here tonight?”