Page 50 of What We Got Wrong

September, Sophomore Year

Liv woke up much later than Quinn most days, but of course, most days Quinn hadn’t been wrapped around her while they slept, so she was jostled awake in Quinn’s unsuccessful attempt to extricate herself, opening her eyes to Quinn’s sheepish expression, an apology already on her lips.

“I tried my best,” Quinn said, pulling her arm out from under Liv’s neck as they both adjusted.

“You’re okay,” Liv assured. And honestly, she probably wouldn’t have loved it if Quinn had slipped out that morning. Yesterday, waking up to a note had been sweet, but today, she was glad to have the chance to look Quinn in the eye as she checked in. She softly asked her, “Did we just ruin our friendship?”

“Entirely,” Quinn answered. Liv loved how she said it, like the idea that their friendship could ever be ruined was unthinkable, her mouth pulled up at one side. “I never want to see you again. At least, not with your clothes on.”

Liv rolled her eyes at that, though she felt her cheeks grow warm. “So, you might want to do it again sometime?”

She needed to be sure, needed confirmation that the way she felt in that moment wasn’t one sided. Because her body was still buzzing, and she found herself pressing her thighs together to try to calm the pulsing between her legs.

“If I didn’t have to get to the pool, we could do it again right now,” Quinn replied, her voice dropping low. She pressed her lips to Liv’s, and yeah, Liv felt it everywhere. Clearly not ready to leave this moment, Quinn hesitated. She ran her gaze up and down Liv’s body, even though she was still covered in Quinn’s blanket. “Sorry, I’m just making sure I memorize this view. This is a top ten life moment.”

Oh, Liv wasn’t sure if she could handle this, this sweetness on top of the devastating sexiness that Quinn had shown her the previous night.

“Have a good day,” she said to Quinn softly. Her roommate grinned at her, winking, and then walked out the door with her gym bag in hand.

It was normal to feel this swoony after having sex with someone the first time, right? Because swoony was absolutely how she felt.

The way Quinn had touched her, the way she had kissed her.

She’d always felt a little under Quinn’s spell. Since that first moment that Quinn had walked into the dorm room, all pretty hazel eyes and mesmerizing smile, she’d been drawn to her. They were friends, yes, and quickly became incredibly close, but now that she understood this attraction, Liv was desperate for more. She felt needy and clingy and all the things she wasn’t supposed to feel, but she didn’t care because she felt good.

Her phone pinged, and she was happy to see Quinn’s name pop up with a text. They didn’t usually text much, at least not while they were both on campus, and she was glad that Quinn was affected as well.

Quinn: So…last night…really happened??

Liv giggled to herself, giddy, while she typed out her response.

Liv: if you already forgot, clearly I need to work on my skills.

She was about to set the phone down, about to roll out of Quinn’s bed, when the response came through.

Quinn: I will never forget. It just doesn’t feel real.

There it was again, the sweetness. Liv had always been struck by how Quinn brought her full self to every interaction, and here she was, not at all shy to tell Liv exactly what she was thinking in this moment.

Quinn: but, I could be available for practice, if you want.

Something so silly shouldn’t make her breath catch. It shouldn’t, but of course her mind flooded with thoughts of how they could practice together. She sent two messages to Quinn, trying to tease her right back.

Liv: I may just take you up on that.

Liv: I’m still in your bed, by the way.

With that, she tossed down her phone, burrowing further under Quinn’s comforter. She tried to go back to sleep, but adrenaline was coursing through her, and she laid there for a while, just replaying the events of the previous night.

It felt so strange to her that the world was still spinning on its axis outside of this room when she felt like something had shifted so intrinsically inside of herself.

No. That wasn’t right. She didn’t think anything had changed in her, not really. But there was an overarching feeling that settled into her bones, a contentment that felt a lot bigger than just simple sexual satisfaction. She let the emotion roll around in her, trying to identify it, capture it, to name this feeling. It was trust, she thought. She’d never held such an overwhelming level of trust, of safety, with anyone she’d been with.

Whatever happened in their friendship, because that’s what this was, Liv wanted to hold on to this as long as she could.

Liv had never been as angry at an inanimate object as she was when her phone alarm went off, but she stretched, forcing herself to get out of bed. She didn’t have an early morning class, but this was her scheduled day to call and check in with her parents, so she didn’t have a choice.

She showered, and the heat of the water, the pressure from the tiny droplets, made her realize that she was more in her body than she had ever been before. It was as if her sensitivity had been dulled, and being with Quinn had sharpened her somehow. Which, she knew, was ridiculous, but still…she was physically tuned in like never before.