Page 40 of Alec’s Dream

I was not new to kissing. Once upon a time, I’d enjoyed it. Then again there’d been a time I’d enjoyed sex, too. But never had I been kissed the way Alec was kissing me right then.

He didn’t coax, or ask, or slowly stoke a spark. No, not Alec. He went for it, head on and hard. His hands on my hips tightened and pulled me closer, then one moved trailing up my back and into my hair. With a tug, he tilted my head and kept me in place. His tongue expertly stroked mine and everything else fell away.

Alec pushed his thigh between my legs, the seam of my jeans rubbed just right and I moaned at the friction. It had been so long, it wouldn’t take much. Especially when Alec’s tongue was creating magic in my mouth and I could feel his thick erection near my hip.

So close…

“Mamamama!” Joss yelled and all the goodness Alec had created evaporated.

“Crap.” I tried to jump out of his arms but he held me tight.

“Christ, Macy.” Alec’s lust-thick voice was almost enough to finish me off.

Good Lord, the sound was scratchy—feral. It did crazy things to me but hearing Jocelyn was the wet blanket I needed.

“That… that…”

“Was fucking phenomenal. Jesus, when you let go…” Alec shook his head and tightened his fist in my hair. “Fucking hell, if you detonate like that with a kiss I cannot wait to get you under me.”

Without my permission, my body shivered as all sorts of carnal thoughts raced through my head.

“Dadada!” Joss babbled and I glanced over at her where she stood next to the coffee table.

Her little hands were clapping, a huge grin on her chubby face, then on wobbly legs she took a step toward us.

“Oh my God,” I whispered and Alec’s gaze slid to his daughter.

He stood frozen in my arms as he watched Jocelyn take two more steps before her arms wrapped around our legs. Alec finally let me go, bent down, and swung Joss into his arms.

“You did it,” he murmured then buried his face in Joss’s neck, blowing a raspberry that sent her into a fit of giggles.

My heart melted seeing father and daughter both smiling. I could easily remember Caleb and Rory’s first steps—how special they were. The excitement and the melancholy. Each new milestone a reminder your baby wasn’t such a baby anymore.

Until they become near-teenagers and hear and know far too much. And you go from worrying if your house is baby-proofed to worried about whether or not the choices you’ve made have screwed them up beyond repair.

“Babe?” Alec palmed the side of my face and his thumb brushed gently over the apple of my cheek. “You okay?”

“Yeah. Um. Listen, I should go. You and Jocelyn have some celebrating to do. Big night for her and you, too.”

“I don’t want you to leave. It’s Joss’s bedtime, anyway. Give me a few minutes and—”

“No, no. It’s getting late. You go put her down.” I stepped back and Alec’s hand fell away. “Goodnight, big girl.”

“Mamamama.”

“Sweet dreams,” I cooed and grabbed her cute baby fist, kissing it. “I’ll let myself out. Thanks for dinner.”

I grabbed my purse on the way to the front door but stopped short when Alec seized my hand.

“I don’t want you to go.”

I didn’t want to leave either, but I had to. I thought I could handle the flirting and I had to admit the sexual tension made my insides flutter and woke something I thought I’d laid to rest. I didn’t want to be attracted to anyone. I’d sworn off men. I had too much to deal with and Rory and Caleb had to be my top priority. There was no way I’d stand a chance against Alec. He’d chew me up and spit me out, leaving me even more broken than I already was.

“I have to.”

“Babe—”

“Please, Alec. I can’t do this. I thought I could. I’ll admit being the center of your focus makes me feel good—like I’m a woman. Not a mom, not a daycare provider, not a divorcee, or a failure, or someone who’s battered and broken. When you look at me, I almost feel like my old self, before I let Doug destroy me. You’ve been honest with me so I’ll be honest with you. When you kissed me I forgot who I was, that I am a mom, I am failing, and I’m still allowing my ex to run roughshod over me.