Page 41 of Alec’s Dream

“I can’t get lost in you. My kids have to come first, they have to. I’ve messed up too much already. So it doesn’t matter how much I want you, even if that’s for one night, I don’t get to have you.”

“Look at me, Macy.”

I was looking at him, I hadn’t taken my eyes off him since he’d stopped me from leaving. Alec had an uncanny way of capturing your attention, and try as you might to untangle yourself, there was something about him that made it impossible. Yet another reason I couldn’t get caught up in him.

“I am.”

“No, babe. Look. At. Me.”

“I am, Alec. I’m looking right at you.”

“And you’re still missing it.”

“Missing what?”

“I am not your ex. I will not harm you. I would never harm your children. I do see you as a woman—you’re a breath of fresh air. So beautiful, yet you have no idea. Sweet and kind even at your own expense. But I also see you as a mom, and Macy, it is no less of a turn-on. I’m far from stupid, babe, I know this is not you and me. We both have children to consider. I also told you we’d take this as slow as you need. Start as friends, build from there.”

“Friends don’t kiss like that,” I blurted out.

“Some friends do,” Alec smirked. “And that kiss proved we have wicked chemistry. A preview of what’s to come.”

“You’re not listening to me. It’s the “what’s to come” part that can’t happen.”

“Macy, I’m not asking you for your soul. I’m asking you for some time. I want to get to know you better. I’m not making you promises I can’t keep. I don’t know what’s gonna happen down the line. We both have busy lives. But what I can promise you is I will never hurt you. I’ll never hurt your kids. I want to be your friend. I want to help—”

“No. I don’t want your help.”

“Why not?”

“Because it’s not your problem.”

“I want it to be my problem.”

God, did this man ever give up? I mean who in the hell wanted to be involved in someone else’s mess? Who in their right mind wanted to pursue a woman with two kids and an asshole for an ex-husband? And on top of all of that, I’d already admitted I was broken. I’d opened the door for him to extradite himself from my life yet he’s still pushing. There was something seriously wrong with this man.

“Fine. How about this then? I don’t want you in my problems. As a matter of fact, I don’t want you in my life. It’s too much. Please Alec, just let me go.”

“You’re not paying attention, Macy.”

“I think you’ve alluded to that before. But you’re wrong. My eyes are wide open. I understand Doug’s once again trying to screw me over as if making a fool of me the first time around wasn’t enough. As if he hasn’t hurt our kids enough. Oh no, he needs to inflict maximum damage. And this—whatever it is between you and me—it can’t happen. Not ever. I’m already crumbling. I can handle Doug making me look like an idiot. I can handle him cheating and belittling me. I can get over his emotional abuse. But you? You’d bring me to my knees. Trust me, I need to walk away.

Alec’s face turned to stone. “I’m nothing like that twat.”

“No you’re not. Where he tore me down, you’d build me up. It would feel so good and I’d be so high, I wouldn’t survive the fall.”

I stepped around him and opened the door, happy he didn’t stop me.

“Take care of yourself, Alec.”

Two things happened the next day that surprised me.

The first was, Doug actually showed up. The exchange was easy because he was distracted. I wanted to ask about Josh Malone’s visit and remind my ex I didn’t want his bookie-slash-loan shark-slash-gambling buddy anywhere near my kids. But I kept quiet.

Doug had to know Becky kept tabs on him, but I certainly wouldn’t throw my friend under the bus and confirm—asking about Josh would do just that.

The second was, Alec sat in his SUV a few spaces over from where I’d parked. He didn’t get out. He didn’t try to make contact. He didn’t wave. He just watched. And when Doug pulled out of the lot Alec followed him.

I didn’t know if I was pissed he wasn’t listening or relieved he’d been there just in case.