Page 25 of Holden’s Resurrection

Hours later, Holden was in bed on his back staring at his favorite picture. Leigh-Leigh sitting in his lap, her thick brown hair loose around her, a beautiful smile on her face, her eyes brimming with happiness. She looked so happy. He looked like a man who knew he had it all.

Then he threw it away.

9

“Do you think when me and Rory are done, can you take us to get milkshakes?” Faith happily chirped.

It had been a long, exhausting week and I was looking forward to Aurora Hall coming over to play with Faith all morning. With Rory over, Faith would be occupied and I could finally have time to look over the paperwork my attorney had mailed me.

For the last two weeks, I’d slept like shit. All I could think about was what Holden had said. Which was counterproductive to me, trying to live my life not thinking about him. I couldn’t be bothered to give much thought to Holden knowing Paul had been cheating on me, when the Towlers were now having me followed.

It was on that thought, I answered my daughter, “Not today, sweets.” Faith frowned and I quickly went on, “But I will order you pizza with extra garlic knots and we have root beer.”

“Can we make floats?”

“You sure can.”

“Yippy!” Faith squealed and started for the stairs. “I’m gonna get the dollhouse so it’s ready when Rory gets here.”

I watched as my excited daughter bounced up the stairs to get the wooden dollhouse she and her friend would spend hours gluing together, and reminded myself that was why I was fighting the Towlers. I was protecting that exuberance and free spirit. They didn’t want her, they wanted to punish me. They didn’t love and care about her well-being, she was a pawn in their disgusting game.

The PI the Towlers had sent to Kent County to dig up dirt on me was not a very good one if Nixon had found him hours after his arrival. Nix had called to tell me the investigator was in town and he’d send me a picture so I knew who to look for. He’d also ensured me he’d had a chat with the man and made it clear he was not to approach me or Faith. If he did, I was to call Nix or one of the other guys right away. So far, I’d seen the PI but he hadn’t gotten close. Even if I hadn’t received the picture, I would’ve been able to spot the man. He wasn’t exactly inconspicuous. Though, if I hadn’t known who he was, I would’ve marched my happy ass straight to him the first time I saw him lift his camera in my direction and kicked him in the balls.

I couldn’t say I was pleased some creep was taking pictures of Faith and me, but I could say I was mighty happy that even though Beatrice had taken out a second mortgage she still couldn’t afford the best. This lawsuit was going to eat through my savings quickly enough as it was.

My gaze went out the window and I smiled when I saw the piles of snow. Later today, after Rory and Faith were done putting together the dollhouse, I’d take them outside to build a snowman. There was a small courtyard between my front door and the restaurant next door—it would be the perfect place to let the girls have some fun without worrying about Alec losing his mind because his daughter’s picture had been taken.

There was a knock at the door and a tingle went up my spine. I knew that feeling, the same dread I had whenever Holden was near.

“Is that them?” Faith yelled down the stairs.

I turned and found her looking down at me from the landing.

“No, baby. Rory’s not getting dropped off for another few hours.”

“I thought maybe she was early.”

“Nope. Macy would’ve called.”

Without further complaint, Faith rushed back up to her room.

My plan to ignore the door was dashed at the very loud pounding.

I wanted another altercation with Holden—never. But more than that, I didn’t want to have one with my daughter around. I wasn’t a very reasonable person on a good day; being confronted by Holden’s presence sent me over the edge, straight to insanity. I was still in deep denial, telling myself I no longer loved him.

Now I couldn’t stop myself from thinking about how destroyed he looked when he told me he couldn’t have kids. No way he’d lie about that, would he? No. I quickly shoved that thought aside. Holden could be an ass but he’d never lie about that.

I wanted her to be.

I wish she was.

God, why did he have to say those things? It had taken all of my strength not to rush to his side and pull him into my arms. Despite everything he’d done to us, it killed to see him in so much pain.

But I couldn’t. He didn’t want me to console him. He didn’t want me to touch him. He didn’t want me, period.

How the hell could he blurt out something so huge, then not elaborate, not talk about it, not tell me if that was why he’d left me? And if that was the reason, I didn’t know how I felt about that. Furious came to mind, but so did sadness.

Time. I just needed more time and one day I’d forget about him. But when the third knock came, I knew today would not be the day he started to fade into the back of my mind.