Page 41 of Playing With Love

I took that as my cue to make a hasty exit.

The five steps I’d successfully made were halted when Tucker called my name.

“Yeah?” I asked, looking over my shoulder—something I wish I hadn’t done. Some of the anger had ebbed from his features, yet enough remained to express his irritation I’d heard something he didn’t want me to hear. He just didn’t know how much I’d heard.

It’s all good or it will be when she’s gone.

I hadn’t heard a lot but I’d heard enough.

And what I’d heard meant it was time to pivot. We’d lost our chance to meet Mackenzie at the seminar. A blessing in disguise. I could now move on to a plan that did not involve Tucker.

“Tucker?” I prompted.

“Nothing.” He shook his head and dipped back into his office.

A few minutes later I was in the conference room with a much-needed cup of coffee in hand. Normally this would’ve helped my mood tremendously. Unfortunately, I’d learned in real time that nothing, not even a fantastic cup of joe, eased the pain of learning the man you’ve loved for a really long time was officially done with you. Making matters worse, knowing it was your fault he hated you was altogether a different kind of pain. It was agony. Tear your soul out of your body torture.

It was good I was leaving.

If nothing else, I could give Tucker that—what he said he wanted.

It’s all good or it will be when she’s gone.

It was time to make my exit.

I pushed away from the wall near the coffee setup I’d been leaning against, vaguely listening to Carter and Jason discussing Nick’s profile, thinking I was happy I had a copy because it was going to be put to good use when I found a way to get some face time with Mackenzie. I was also thinking about Shannon’s update on what Frank had found in Tennessee. Part of that update was her ruminating her disapproval of my hopefully soon-to-be-ex partner.

Greg had made several phone calls to Shannon, none of them happy, all of them detailing Frank’s lack of professionalism and Greg’s serious doubts about Frank’s continued employment at the ATF. Unfortunately, as with any government agency it wasn’t easy to fire someone without first jumping through hoops. One could hope—so that’s what I was doing, hoping Frank got canned or transferred and I wouldn’t have to put up with him for much longer. But Frank—or more than likely—Greg, had made some progress.

“Sorry to interrupt.” All eyes came to me, including Tucker’s, momentarily making me forget what I was going to say. But when Tucker shifted to cross his arms over his chest, I remembered—I was leaving, giving him what he wanted. “I need to head out.”

“Head out?” Tucker challenged.

I wasn’t about to tell him I was going to the hotel to pack my shit, then book a flight to Tennessee, but I had to tell him something.

So I did what I’d been doing and lied through my teeth.

“I have some calls to make.” Not a lie. “And files I need to grab.”

Tucker held my gaze, not buying my lame excuse for leaving. Any other time, I would’ve had a plausible explanation. Normally I was quick on the fly, but right then staring into his gray eyes, I didn’t have it in me. There was nothing left.

It’s all good or it will be when she’s gone.

I did that to him, to us, to myself.

I made Tucker, my Tucker, hate me.

My gaze swept the rest of the room and without another word, I left.

It was a shit thing to do. Dylan, Nick, Carter, Jason, and Tucker had put time and effort into this case. I owed them a thank you, a show of appreciation, something. I’d let Shannon handle that. She was good at putting out fires, she’d just never had to put out one of mine.

My phone rang as soon as I was in my rental.

I ignored it.

It rang again as I was clearing out the bathroom, tossing my toiletries into my suitcase without care, just wanting to get everything packed. I ignored it then, too.

I ignored the tears that were threatening to break free. I ignored the stabbing pain in my chest, the way my heart hurt, the way my lungs burned. Everything.