Page 50 of Playing With Love

Tucker lost his smile, his face went hard, as did his voice when he declared, “Right there, Liza, is the line. You want to deny you love me, do it. But don’t ever tell me how I feel.”

“I see, but you can tell me how I feel?”

“Yes. When you’re fucked in the head and twisting shit to protect yourself, absolutely.”

“Fucked in the head?”

“Fucked in the head,” he asserted firmly.

Was I fucked in the head? Evidence was suggesting I was. However, I didn’t like him drawing that conclusion even if it was the correct one.

“That’s not nice,” I snapped.

“Never said I was gonna be nice, Liza. I said, I was dragging you with me. I’m sensing you’re not understanding the fullness of that statement. So be clear, I’ll fight as dirty as I have to. You wanna play games, lie, hide, do your worst, Liza. I’ll best any effort you make. I’ll take whatever you dish out, swallow it, and still win. Now, baby…” he leaned closer so all I could see were his gray eyes. “…do you get me?”

Oh, I got him alright. The truth was out. He knew I loved him. He knew why I ran. And I knew Tucker; he’d use my admissions against me. He’d fight dirty. And worse, he never lost. He never backed down.

He was smart.

He was resourceful.

Which meant, I was screwed.

“Can you please put me down?”

“After you tell me you get me.”

“What I get, Tucker, is this isn’t gonna go well for me.”

His eyes closed, his forehead hit mine, and he whispered, “If you think that, then, baby, you’re not paying attention.”

I was paying so much attention the warning bells were ringing and my mental stop signs were nothing more than a blur as I sped past them.

“Just don’t blame me when you find out you’ve wasted your time on me.”

“Liza—”

“You’re all fired up to see where this goes,” I interrupted him, not wanting to hear his rebuttal. Truthfully, he was saying everything I’d desperately wanted to hear. He was giving me hope. Which was something I’d learned the hard way was dangerous. Hope led to devastating pain. “But, Tucker, I know how it ends.”

“How does it end?” he asked softly.

“With you finding out I’m not worth the effort.”

Tucker leaned closer until there wasn’t a smidgen of room between us. I was trapped. Completely engulfed in all things Tucker Mitchell. I could feel his chest rising and falling against mine. All I could smell was him. All I could see were his eyes. I was exactly where I wanted to be—fully immersed in the man I loved.

I was high on hope.

So high, I knew the fall would be far and arduous, and when I hit the bottom it would be crippling.

“Lizzy, baby,” he groaned. “That’s totally fucked.”

“That’s me. The real me. The me I hid from you because this Liza isn’t all that fun to be around.”

More truth I shouldn’t be admitting.

Not that I had much of a chance of concealing who I really was, with Tucker on a mission of discovery. He’d soon learn everything and then he’d leave and I’d go back to missing him. Only this time it would be worse.

A cruelty he didn’t know he was inflicting.