Page 28 of Recovering Ivy

“Okay…”

I wasn’t sure where he was going or why he was telling me where he grew up.

“In a single-wide trailer.”

“Why are you telling me this?” I asked.

“Because you have your head up your ass and have a shit ton of misconceptions about me. My mom left my dad when I was young, maybe three. She still to this day refuses to talk about him. I have a few memories of my dad and the house we lived in, but I’m not sure if they’re actual memories or something my mind made up. We lived in an apartment for a while. She met Lincoln’s dad and got remarried, shortly after she got pregnant and he took off. Before Linc was born we moved into the trailer park. It was all she could afford with two kids and no man. She did the best she could and both Linc and I got jobs when we were old enough to pitch in. So no, Ivy, I didn’t grow up with a silver spoon and two perfect parents. I had a single mom that loved her boys and did her best, but she often fell short. Everything you see I earned with hard work.”

Well.

I felt like an ass.

“You understand then. I need to make it on my own, too. I want to earn it, like you did.”

“I didn’t say I didn’t have help along the way. I did. And I was smart enough to take it. This life is about give and take, keeping those scales balanced, and making sure you give back more than you take.”

I thought about what he said. I knew he was right, kind of. Life was about give and take. I’d just never experienced the give without a high price tag connected to it. And the take part left a bad taste in my mouth, too. Sarah took and took. She had taken so much from me I didn’t think I had anything left to give, therefore I had no business taking anything from anyone. I was spent, emotionally drained from years of being told I was a burden.

“I don’t know how to accept kindness,” I admitted.

“You say thank you and prove to the person they made the right decision believing in you.”

“Thank you,” I whispered.

I still didn’t think this was a good idea, but I was warming to it. I thought quitting the job I had was silly and over the top, but Zane truly believed I could be in danger. It wasn’t like I loved working there. It wasn’t my dream job, the benefits sucked, the pay was crap, and the people who worked there were all pretty much jerks. It wouldn’t be a hardship to quit but… there was a but, I just couldn’t remember what it was standing in Zane’s office.

“Where’s your dad now?” I asked, curious about the idiot that would abandon such a smart and kind man. Even if he was a bossy asshole, I believed it was done out of kindness, which was probably the most ass-backward thing I’d ever thought.

“It’s a long, complicated, convoluted story.”

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to overstep.”

“You didn’t. I was going to say, it’s a story best told over drinks. I’ll tell you one day, when time permits.”

I looked around his office again, my eyes stopping on a folded American flag on the bookshelf. I didn’t know much about the military, but I knew what that flag meant. I continued my perusal and saw with new appreciation just how ambitious Zane was. He’d come a long way. I stopped to study the man standing before me. Muscular arms folded over a big strong chest, his posture was straight, and his face hard. His eyes were warm and gentle, the way they had been when he’d rolled us to our sides and tucked me close so we could both catch our breath. It seemed I couldn’t stop thinking about having sex with him. However, this time, it wasn’t the hot steamy rolling around I was remembering. It was the tenderness in his face when he’d touched me. It was a direct contradiction to his gruff tone, dirty words, and rough handling of me.

He’d looked at me like I was precious.

I’d never had that.

He gave it to me then and he was giving it to me now.

The look.

The soft eyes.

He scared the shit out of me.

11

Zane

When I’d introduced my assistant to Ivy, Rena’s eyes nearly bugged out of her face when I explained Ivy would be taking Donna’s place and asked her to give Ivy a tour of Z Corps. Rena’s professionalism took over and she’d kept her surprise to herself. I didn’t offer an explanation to Rena’s unspoken question as to why Ivy was getting a full look at the premises. Donna had never been further than the command room or kitchen. She’d never been in my office or the team rooms, and certainly never down into the basement where the armory was housed. Hell, if there was a way I could’ve kept Donna from coming back into the inner sanctum, I would’ve. But the kitchen was back there. I’d even considered building a new one just for Donna to use, but the reception area wasn’t big enough.

There was a knock at the door before Linc poked his head through and saw me sitting behind my desk. Without permission, he let himself in. I needed to remember to engage the lock on my door. My team thought it was perfectly acceptable to barge in whenever they damn well felt like it, especially my brother and Jasmin. The two of them thought they ran the place and had no issue speaking their minds. There was a time no one under my command would think about questioning my authority.

The good old days.