Page 29 of Recovering Ivy

There were rules, a chain of command to follow.

“You straight?” he asked and sat in front of my desk.

“Not tracking, brother.”

I wasn’t but I didn’t want to talk about Ivy. I’d sent her away so I could get my head straight. What the hell had I been thinking telling her about where I’d grown up and offering to tell her about my father, Rick.

“You’re a lot of things, dumb isn’t one of them,” he returned.

“Drop it, Lincoln. I don’t want to discuss her.”

“Like Leo didn’t want to discuss Olivia? Or Jax didn’t want to discuss Violet. Hell, when shit went to hell with Jasmin, and I didn’t want to talk about it? Like those times? Funny, if memory serves, you wouldn’t let shit drop.”

I thought about what he said, and he was right, but those were different situations. All three men were good men, clean, they deserved a good woman. As much as I hated touchy-feely shit I hadn’t minded giving them a nudge in the right direction.

“She’s an employee,” I pointed out, an unintended side effect to me having her work at Z Corps, an added layer of protection. One I needed desperately.

“Now you’re not only grasping at straws but you’re full of shit.”

“Is she not my employee?”

“Why are you doing this?” he huffed. “It’s obvious you’re into her.”

“By into her, you mean, I’ve fucked her? Yes, Linc, I picked her up in a bar and took her home. The next morning I woke up and she’d bailed. End of story.”

“Right.”

“Now you’re pissing me off. What the fuck do you want me to say? Not the first time I’ve picked up company for the night at a bar and it won’t be my last.”

“Wanna bet?” He leveled me with a stare and I braced. “I want you happy, brother.”

“I am fucking happy.”

“No, you’re coasting through life. And don’t try to lie to me. I was the same way before Jasmin. Once I met her, it was all over for me. I knew I’d do anything to have that woman.”

Lincoln wasn’t telling the whole truth, he wasn’t like me before he met Jasmin. He’d always had stars in his eyes and known he’d wanted a wife and a family. It was simply how he was built. He had something I didn’t, the ability to love.

“Happy for you.”

“Life moves on, Zane. Whether you choose to move with it or not, it’s moving. You’re letting a whole lotta life pass you by because you’re stuck in your head and weighed down by a metric shit ton of guilt that’s not yours.”

“Drop it.”

“She’s different, Zane.”

“There is nothing different about her. She’s the same as any other woman I take to my bed. But I will give you this; she’s had a shit life and deserves better than a condemned man. I have nothing to offer. She’ll find someone who can give her all the beauty she’s after, but that man will most certainly not be me.”

“That’s fucked.”

Thankfully, there was a tap on my office door before it pushed open and Colin walked in.

“Sorry to interrupt.”

“You’re not. We were done,” I told him and looked at Linc. He was giving me a side-eye glare telling me he was far from done.

“I talked to our contact at the local PD, Detective Goldsborough. We gave him the heads up on one of Forester’s regular prostitutes. He picked her and her John up about thirty minutes ago. We have the go-ahead to watch the interrogation. Declan and I are headed there now.”

“Let’s go.”