Page 122 of Kyle

There was something to be said about a thirty-two-year-old woman who had an apartment with nice furniture, nice sheets and towels, even nicer stoneware, but had not a damn thing that could be considered personal, save the hundreds of paperback books. All of which Anaya had wrapped like they were priceless treasures.

No pictures on the walls, no framed photos, no picture albums.

And what it said was nothing good.

It served as a reminder Anaya’s life had been bleak and lonely. Two things it never should’ve been. Two things it would never be again.

We hadn’t discussed it, but for now we’d stay in the house Zane was renting for the team, and that was fine in the short-term. But as soon as things settled, I was getting my woman a house, and after I planted her ass in it, I was taking it upon myself to give her everything she never had, and that included pictures on the walls—framed photos of us, her with the girls, me with the team, our friends’ kids.

And one day, our own.

I wanted her surrounded with family. Every day I wanted her to wake up and before she drank her first cup of coffee, to look around her house and know she was loved.

And that was happening soon.

“You want kids?”

Anaya jerked back and looked at me like I was crazy and I suppose the way I blurted out my question made me a little nuts. But what the hell? I had to go with it.

“Um…I think so. You?”

“I never wanted kids.” Anaya’s shock faded and sadness started to creep in. “I always thought they were cute but someone else’s cute, not mine. Thought they’d be a burden and I like my freedom. But that was also based on the assumption I’d never have a wife. So things change.”

“You never thought you’d have a wife?”

Damn, she was cute when her face contorted in disbelief.

“Nope. Never thought I’d want to be tied down. But that was before I met you. Never felt an inkling of what my friends had described as love—until I met you. Never had a burning desire to be close to a woman—until you. Never pictured myself with a family—until you came into my life. So, no, I never wanted kids—until I fell in love with you. But now, I have to tell you, I want them. I’m not saying tomorrow or even this year, but yes, Anaya, I want children. So I need to know if that’s something you want, too.”

“I never had a mom,” she whispered, and the sadness I heard nearly brought me to my knees.

“Know that, sweetheart.”

“What if I’m not a good one?”

Damn, that was a direct hit center mass and the bitter it left in my mouth tasted like shit. There was no reason for as sweet and strong as Anaya was to doubt herself. About anything—ever.

“Come here, sweetheart.”

Anaya remained frozen, and when I stepped closer, she put her hand up. “I’m being serious.”

“I know you are. And I can understand why you’d ask.” I reached out, grabbed her hand, and tugged her to my chest. “You’re gonna be a great mom.”

“How can you say that? Not only did I not have a mom, I didn’t even have an aunt or a grandmother to show me. Like you, I never considered kids. I mean, what if I can’t connect with them?”

“Sweetheart, I get it. I really do, but straight up, you have nothing to worry about. When the time comes, you’re gonna be a great mom.”

“How do you know?”

“I just do.”

“That’s not good enough,” she huffed.

I didn’t want to bring her past up, I really didn’t want to talk about it while we were talking about our future. I wanted Anaya to move on and not dwell on everything that had happened to her. In the two weeks since she’d agreed to move to Maryland with me, she’d opened herself up to the team and had reached out to all of the women—not just Tatiana and Emerson.

Olivia, Violet, Ivy, Erin, and Jasmin had pulled Anaya into their tight group as well. All eight of the women got together to do whatever women did when they were together on more than one occasion. I didn’t give the first fuck what they did when they went out, what I cared about was every time Anaya came home or stopped by the office, she was smiling and happy. She laughed a lot, she hugged them goodbye, she played with Jasmin and Linc’s twins, she rocked and cooed Eric and Mason. My woman was happy, she had connected, and she was free.

What I didn’t want to do, was bring up the fucked-up shit that had been done to her in an effort to convince her she’d be a good mom.