Page 20 of Kyle

“Take your time, Anaya. Just breathe, sweetheart. No one’s gonna hurt you.”

Sweetheart?

Then the craziness continued as I remained focused on his eyes, and in the low light the full moon provided, I memorized the dark green circle that highlighted the lighter green in the middle of his irises. His pupils were dilated, and I wondered how different his eyes would look if I could see more of their color.

My breathing started to even out and I felt steadier on my legs. But no less confused.

“Thank you,” I murmured.

“I’m so damn sorry I scared you. I didn’t have time to think, I just reacted. I would never hurt you.”

“I know.” And weirdly I did know Kyle wouldn’t intentionally scare me. “I’m sorry I’m a basket case.”

“Don’t do that, Anaya. I took you by surprise and closed in on you. Of course you’d have that reaction. You barely know me and I’m twice your size.”

I nodded, not wanting to explain that if it had been anyone else who’d done that to me, I would’ve come unglued and survival mode would’ve kicked in. I would’ve blown the whole operation. But more than that, I didn’t want to him to move away from me. I wanted to feel his breath on my neck again, how good his body had felt against mine, how feeling that was so much better than him holding my hand. And I really didn’t want to even think about why that was.

Since I’d never tell him any of that, instead I mumbled, “I’m okay now.”

“Don’t rush yourself. We have time.”

He was back to being Mr. Nice Guy and I didn’t know if I was grateful or if I wanted to scream at him.

“Really, I’m okay. Can we keep this little episode to ourselves?”

“I need to tell Declan, to be careful.” I started to look away, but Kyle reached out, his warm hand going to my jaw, his thumb brushing my cheek. So feather light I wanted to tilt my face to feel more of him. He’d meant to stop me, to keep my attention focused on him. And he accomplished what he’d set out to do, only he had my attention in a whole other way.

“I wouldn’t tell him,” he continued, “if it wasn’t a matter of safety. And I think you can imagine, Dec of all people will understand. I know you two didn’t get off on the right foot, but he’s a good guy. He won’t judge you and he certainly would never hurt you.”

Damn. He was right. About everything. Intellectually, I knew Declan would never hurt me, but if he touched me the way Kyle had, there was no telling how I’d react. Declan was not Kyle, there was no connection, there were no crazy fantasies, no wild thoughts about wanting to be close to him. But for the safety of the mission, Declan had to know even if I didn’t want him to.

“It’s embarrassing,” I told him. “I’m a grown woman who can’t be touched—”

“Stop. That’s not true. I held your hand on the plane and I’m touching you now. You’re a woman who doesn’t like to be startled and manhandled. I think that’s pretty normal.”

He was being kind again, but we didn’t have enough time for me to explain all the ways I was screwed up.

After a minute he asked, “You’ll be okay if I step away?”

Knowing this was going to be my one and only chance to feel him this close, I wanted to tell him no. I wanted to savor this, memorize it, so I could remember it for the rest of my life. I never wanted to forget what it felt like to have Kyle’s hand on my face, his eyes on mine, his hips pressed deep against mine, the intimacy of our position.

But now that the threat had passed and my anxiety had waned, he probably wanted to get as far away from me as he could and I couldn’t blame him.

“Yeah.”

He slowly stepped back, but his hand traveled down my arm and I memorized that, too. He clasped our hands together and he gave mine a squeeze.

“I’m serious, Anaya, you did great.”

He was lying, I hadn’t. But I gave him a nod, our moment over. Or should I say mine, since it was one-sided. He walked me to the door and opened it. We stepped inside the stairwell and he gestured for me to go up.

“I’ll see you in a few minutes,” he told me.

I stiffened my back, gathered my wits, and climbed the stairs.

“Come on, Anaya, you’re stronger than this,” I muttered to myself as I rounded the second floor.

I had to pull myself together before I screwed everything up and those girls were left to a life of misery.