Page 63 of Chasing Honor

“Hell if I know.”

“You have a thirty-minute drive home. I suggest you figure this shit out. And by that, I mean, pull your head out of your ass. I’m dog tired and goin’ home. Let me know if you need any help getting Chrissy gone.”

“Thanks.”

Ten minutes later I was heading out the back door and found my dad leaning against the side of my Tahoe, like I was a teenager needing a ride home.

What the fuck?

“Dad,” I greeted when I made it to my car.

“We need to talk.”

“Can it wait? I just had my ass handed to me by Lorenz, and my shift sucked. I just wanna go get Carson and go home.”

“I never took you as a quitter.”

Guess we were talking about this now.

“I’m not quitting anything.”

“Right. If I were a betting man, I’d put my house up that today, after we left, you ended things with Honor or something just as stupid.”

“Good thing you don’t bet then, because you would’ve lost your house.” My dad held my gaze, not believing me. “I didn’t end things. I told her we needed to slow down. Carson’s getting too attached, and I have to figure out what Chrissy’s up to.”

“Right, that falls into the “something equally as stupid” category. I see you’ve found your shield.”

“I’m not fucking hiding. Carson is—”

“Just fine. Happy. Heathy. Thriving. She loves Honor. What more do you want?”

“That’s just it. She loves Honor. What if something happens, and she bolts?”

“Then you fucking fight to make her stay.”

Why the hell was everyone on my case? Couldn’t they see I was trying to do what was best for my child? I thought my parents would be happy I was being responsible and putting my daughter’s needs before my own. I was right.

“It’s not that simple, Dad.”

“It is. Besides, she not bolting–you are.”

“I couldn’t even make the girl who was carrying my child stay. There was supposed to be some sort of bond between us. Fuck!” I pulled at my hair until pain radiated over my scalp. “Goddamn it. We love her. If she leaves us, we’ll break. Both of us. Chrissy showing up today reminded me I fucking failed. I couldn’t even give my kid the one thing all children should have—a mom.”

“Honor is not Chrissy.”

“I know that. She’s more. She’s the woman I could love for the rest of my life. She’s the mom I want Carson to have. She’s my bone-deep, I know it. But if she doesn’t feel the same way, Carson will be crushed, it will rip my heart out, and I won’t survive.”

“It’s called trust, Ethan. You need to learn to trust her.”

“I do.”

“No you don’t, not the way you should. I trust your mother with my life. I trust that she’ll never leave me. Love is a choice, son. I wake up every morning and I choose to love your mom. And every night when we go to bed, I choose her again. The thought of her not being there doesn’t cross my mind; it’s an impossibility.”

“I need time.”

“No, you don’t. The longer this festers the worse it will be, the deeper the hurt, the harder to fix. I didn’t drag my ass all the way across town and stand outside for an hour because it can wait. Honor Sullivan will love you and Carson until her dying breath if you let her.”

“How do you know?”