Page 83 of Chasing Honor

“I’ll ask Levi and Blake to comb through Frank’s life. Sam’s, too,” my dad announced when I was done filling them in.

“You don’t have to,” Honor told him.

“Yeah, I do. Neither of them will be a problem for you. From here on out, you’re protected. If you see Frank, you call one of us.”

Honor assessed the situation and came to the right decision. Arguing with my dad wasn’t going to get her anywhere. Lorenz made his exit, and my dad stood to follow. Before he left the room, he gave Honor some truths about my family.

“I hope you don’t think I’m stepping out of bounds here, but there are a few things you need to understand. We protect what’s ours. And not just me and Ethan. Jasper, Clark, and Levi will protect you as well. It’s what we do. You’re family, Honor, one of us. That means you fall under the umbrella of protection. You never, and I mean never, feel ashamed or too embarrassed to come to us. Ethan loves you, and that’s all we need to know about what kind of woman you are.”

Honor didn’t answer, instead her lips pinched together, tears filled her eyes, and she nodded her understanding.

“Thanks, Dad.” I reached out my hand to shake his, and he pulled me in for a hug and whispered, “Do whatever you have to do to make sure she doesn’t walk away. Now is the time to grovel. And son, it doesn’t make you less of a man—it makes you a smart one.”

“I plan to.”

“Good.” He stepped away from me and opened the door. “I’m out of here. My granddaughter has requested mint chocolate chip ice cream.”

“Dad—”

“Son, there’s nothing you can say that’s going to stop me from spoiling her. Save your breath.”

“Right.”

“See you both tomorrow.”

My dad left, leaving me with a crying Honor. I carefully sat on the bed and gathered both her hands in mine and waited for her to look at me.

“You okay?” I asked.

“I can’t believe Sam tried to kill me.”

“I can. I knew there was something wrong with the way he was staring at you at the restaurant. Combine that with all the stalkerish shit he did when you were teenagers—I should’ve been more careful.

“This isn’t your fault.”

“Sure it is.”

“You mean like it would’ve been my fault if Carson got hurt?”

I clenched my jaw to prevent myself from sounding like a misogynist pig. I doubted she wanted to hear how it was my job, as the man, to protect her—and I’d failed. Not to mention, Carson had been in the car. It was absolutely my job to keep her safe.

“Point taken. How’s your pain level? Tired?”

“I’m fine. Will you tell me about last Sunday?” she asked.

I wished we were at home, so I could lie next her and gather her in my arms. I didn’t want to talk to her about Chrissy, but if I had to, I’d prefer it be done while I could hold her close.

“I was so scared to tell my parents. Did I tell you where we were when I told them?” She shook her head and I chuckled at the memory. “My cousin Nick’s housewarming party. Everyone was there. I’d kept the secret for like a week, and it was eating away at me. I had to get it off my chest so I could breathe. I think I told them there so my dad couldn’t kill me, too many witnesses. Which was stupid, my uncles would have helped him bury my body and never ask questions. I was most afraid to see the disappointment on their faces. But, as mad as they were, they supported me. My mom’s only request was that I finish school. And my dad actually told me he was proud I’d decided to step up and be a father. But I was still scared and doubted I could do it.”

“But you had your family, Ethan. You know they’d never let you fail.”

“I knew that. But I was still secretly pissed I was willing to own my responsibilities, but Chrissy was going to walk away.” I stopped to contemplate my next words. I had to tell Honor everything, even the ugly parts, if I wanted her to understand. I hoped like hell she wouldn’t think less of me once she knew the type of person I was. “When I brought Carson home from the hospital my world changed. My friends disappeared, my opportunities, my goals, my dreams—all gone. I was no longer living for myself but for Carson. That’s what a parent does. But a sixteen-year-old parent who never had a chance to grow up starts to become resentful. I resented Chrissy’s ability to realize every dream she ever had. The military was no longer an option for me. Something I’d wanted since I was a little boy. I always knew I’d follow in my dad’s footsteps. But I felt like Chrissy had stolen that from me. I hated her for it. Then there was no more going to regular school for me. I isolated myself because I was so different from all my old friends. I had a baby and all the responsibility that came with her. I refused to let her down. I threw myself into homeschool and then found a career where I could still protect and serve, even if it wasn’t in the way I’d always dreamt of.”

“Handsome, I think you’re too hard on yourself. Of course you’d feel some sort of resentment. You were sixteen. Hell, I know plenty of people who have found themselves in your situation as adults and hate the other parent when they abandon their responsibility.”

“I let the hate and resentment for her rule my life and every decision I made. I keep screwing things up with you because I’m so fucking afraid you’ll leave me. In my mind, Chrissy was supposed to love Carson enough to want to stay. Even if she didn’t love me, she should’ve loved her daughter. I’ve spent the last eight years wondering what it was I did or didn’t do to make her leave her own child. It had to be me because Carson was perfect.”

“Really? It had to be all about you. Are you so egotistical that you made a woman’s decision about if she wanted to be a parent about you? What about her choice? Maybe it was about her and not you.”