Page 46 of Maximus

“Babe, seriously, I think you know I thoroughly got off on what we did. What I meant was, the way you left. I fucked up and shouldn’t have let you leave that way.”

“Then why did you?”

Eva’s blunt question took me off-guard.

So much so, I didn’t guard my response. “Because I was taken aback by what I felt. I’m not relationship material. I’m not the type of man that feels anything beyond physical when I’m with a woman. And you want the God’s honest truth? I wasn’t happy about Tex asking me to go down to Florida to see to you and your kids. Before I met you, I’d made assumptions. I don’t trust women and knowing what you did, I didn’t trust you.”

I watched in horror as Eva’s eyes filled with tears and her shoulders sagged forward. I hated I was hurting her but I had to be honest. “Over the last few days watching you, I had to admit to myself I was wrong. I don’t like being wrong and I don’t like unfairly judging someone’s character. I was wrong and unfair and struggling with what to do with that knowledge. I didn’t expect what happened earlier to happen. My head was all fucked-up about how I felt about you, your situation, and my attraction toward you. So the bottom line is, when we hit the bedroom, I wasn’t ready. I was still processing all that I’d learned about you. The woman you are, the mother you are, and the depth of your love and loyalty to your kids. Straight up, Eva, I couldn’t separate the sex from what I was feeling for you, and that fucked with my head. So when we were done, I let you walk out the door because I needed you to leave so I could get my shit together. That was uncool and screwed up. I regret that ending. I should’ve been man enough to talk to you then, instead of making you feel like shit. And that’s on me. You did nothing wrong.”

“I did do something wrong,” she mumbled.

“Come again?”

“I was wrong to ask you to kiss me. I got caught up in what we were doing and I wanted to pretend for just a few minutes I wasn’t so lonely. That what we were doing meant something, that I’m not this empty pit of nothingness. It was unfair for me to use you like that. It made you uncomfortable.”

Fucking Christ.

Her candor gutted me. I’d been so wrong about so much—so fucking wrong I wanted to kick my own ass.

“Can I ask you something personal?” Eva asked.

“What’s that?”

“Why don’t you trust women?”

Of course Eva would hone in on that.

“Because it’s been my experience women are only out for what they can get. I learned early on I was nothing more than a meal ticket. And I’ll be damned if I’m ever fucked over again by a bitch with an agenda.”

“Sounds familiar,” she muttered.

“Yeah?”

“Sucks we seem to have that in common. People using us to get what they want. Only in my case, I guess I was too stupid not to let it happen.”

“And what makes you think I wasn’t too stupid?”

“Because I can’t see you ever being so naïve that once you saw the red flags waving you wouldn’t have walked away. I’m just dumb enough to put blinders on, pretend not to see them, even when I did.”

“There’s lots of ways to be stupid, Eva. And lots of ways to be used. The first time it happened, I was too young to do anything to stop it. The next time, I wasn’t old enough to know the difference between a good time and love.”

“Sorry that happened to you.”

Fucking hell, she means that.

“I’m not, it taught me to be careful about who I let into my life and who to trust.”

“I guess it did.” Her eyes softened and her gaze dropped to the floor. “I better get back to bed.”

“You okay?”

“Yeah.” Eva lifted her head. Gone were the soft yellow eyes—gone was the openness.

I would’ve been impressed she could shut down so quickly if it didn’t piss me off so badly.

“Right. I let that shit slide back in the bedroom because I was being a dick. But, babe, I know you’re lying.”

Her spine shot straight, her shoulders squared, and her chin jutted out defiantly.