Page 47 of Maximus

“So, what, you thought you’d continue to be a dick and call me out on it instead of leaving it alone and letting me go back to my room where I could lick my wounds in private?”

“No, Eva. I thought we should talk about what’s bothering you—fix it, then move on.”

“There’s no fixing what’s broken inside of me. There’s no moving on from the sins of my past. If you’re worried you hurt me tonight—don’t.”

“Eva—”

“Goodnight, Max.”

Eva started to skirt around me in an effort to flee, her movements stiff and on-guard.

“Wait.” I grabbed her hand and held on tight when she tried to pull away.

“Let. Me. Go.”

“Not until we work this out.”

“Why?”

Fuck, that was a good question. Why was I pushing her? Why did I care? Why in the hell was I demanding her honesty when I had no intention of giving her more than I already had?

“Because I don’t want you going to bed upset.”

Eva huffed a sad chuckle and shook her head. “You don’t understand, Max. I go to bed upset every night. You think this is about you? Me up at two-thirty in the morning pacing around, unable to sleep? Well, you can rest easy in the knowledge you’re not the reason I’m losing sleep. This is my life, my penance, my punishment. I close my eyes and I see Zoey—the terror in her eyes. I see Mark Wright’s confusion and anger. I see it so vividly it’s like it’s happening all over again. Every night, I’m sitting back in that plane praying they’ll be found quickly. Warring with myself, willing myself to pull back on the yoke to take off. Four people’s lives are in my hands. Two are innocent strangers. Two are the most precious people in my life. So, no, I’m not okay. I’ll never be okay again. But I deserve that, I don’t get to be okay after what I’ve done.”

Eva tugged her hand free and loped through the living room and down the hall. I watched her go in a haze of anger. And for once, I wasn’t angry at her for nearly killing my friend. I was mad as fuck at the people responsible for putting Eva’s ass in that plane, making her do the unthinkable.

Bubba and Zoey, or Elijah and Liam.

I made my way to the bedroom. Not bothering to undress, I climbed back into bed and lay awake thinking about Eva.

Not even the sweet smell of apples and sex could lull me to sleep.

Fucking hell.

I needed to get a grip and get my head sorted.

Chapter 15

Seven in the morning comes early when you’ve been up most of the night. Thankfully, the safehouse had a queen-size bed in the master, giving the boys and me plenty of room. But Elijah had always woken up rough—he moved, he kicked, he whined. This had always been his way, even as an infant. Therefore, I was being used as a punching bag as my son came awake.

“Stop,” Liam demanded and rolled away from his brother.

Now, Liam was the opposite. He was a cuddle bug in the mornings. He woke up sweet and easy.

“Morning time, my loves,” I mumbled.

Eli grunted. Liam sighed—loudly.

“Good morning, good morning,” I sang. “Sunbeams will soon shine through.”

“Good morning, good morning,” Liam mumbled his part of the song.

“Good morning, my darlings, to you,” I finished.

Eli rolled and tucked himself into my side, his little arm going around my belly, his head on my chest, and I sighed.

Nothing better than waking up with my boys.