Page 20 of Declan

“I said, I want to go with you to talk to Thad. I need to find out what’s happening with Emerson. Then I need to call Zane and make arrangements for him to go home and see if he’ll send Gabe to take over for Thad. After that, we have to call Tex back.”

“Thad’s not gonna be happy.”

Guilt ate at my belly. Just like always, I ruined everything. First, Emerson left Thad because of me. Then she stayed away. And now that they were happy and married, I was back to wreak more havoc on their lives. The sooner I left the better. Everything would go back to normal and everyone could be happy.

Except me. I’d move on and go back to the hell I’d created.

“I’ll worry about Thad. You start thinking about how you’re gonna amend your plan to take out Strotherby.”

“Amend? There’s no amending anything. She’s going down.”

“She is, absolutely. The revision is, how you’ll be including the team.”

“Fine.”

One thing I knew about Declan—he was relentless. He wouldn’t care what I wanted, he’d insinuate himself and his team and it wouldn’t matter what I said. And if I left, he’d find me.

“Hop up, baby, let’s get to work.”

Right, of course, the moment was over. And naturally, we hadn’t discussed why he’d carried me into the bedroom in the first place. Declan wouldn’t. He wouldn’t even address that, in a moment of sheer weakness, I’d allowed him to cradle me in his arms. Nor would he bring up that Thad had fired a kill shot. I knew Dec had seen my eyes brimming with tears. But he wouldn’t ask about those, either.

That was not who we were.

Who we never would be.

And it fucking sucked so bad, molten lava filled my stomach. The boiling fire a reminder that I was so goddamn dirty, I’d never have him.

* * *

By the time I found, or I should say we, since Declan had done what he wanted and went in search of my brother-in-law with me, Thad looked like he was in no better mood than he was when he’d stormed out of the house.

I glanced around the small courtyard and noticed a beautiful rock garden in the corner. The first time I’d been out there, I’d missed it. But then two mammoth men had been ready to go to blows, therefore I had other things on my mind. The space had been designed with peace and tranquility in mind and Thad looked like he needed both of those and there I was gearing up to shatter them.

“Sorry to bother you,” I started, and glittering chocolate eyes came to mine.

I bet when he looked at my sister, he lost the sinister squint and those deep brown eyes melted for her. Thad Bench was a good-looking man, he’d been good-looking in his early twenties and he was no less hot in his thirties. Emmy was lucky, she’d found the whole package. The one women all over the world dreamed about having. But best of all, he adored her. As in, unequivocally, forever, and completely loved her. I liked that my sister had that. She deserved it. After everything she’d given up for me, I needed her to have it.

Thad didn’t say a word. He just stared and I felt my armor getting ready to snap into place. The steel coating that turned me into a raging bitch in order to protect myself.

Stop, Autumn, let him see you.

“I…um…I want to apologize.” Thad did a slow blink so I rushed on. “How I behaved earlier was uncool so I’m sorry. I…um…need to work with all of you and we can’t do that if I…um…”

Jesus, could I sound more like a bumbling idiot? That was why I kept myself encased in a hard shell, being a bitch was so much easier than…whatever this was. Contrite? Normal? Human?

“I get it, Autumn.” He let me off the hook.

“Thanks. How’s Emmy?”

Good Lord, did my voice just crack? Toughen up, bitch.

Thad studied me a long time, then his gaze went over my shoulder and I knew he was looking at Declan.

He has my back.

Sweet Jesus, where did that thought come from? No one had my back. I was a loner, a solo act, no one, but no one, ever stood watch over me.

When his eyes came back to mine, the corner of his mouth tipped into a ghost of a smile. Tentative, unsure, hopeful.