Page 22 of Declan

So fucking broken.

Dirty.

I needed to get clean.

I had to wash it off.

Chapter 8

I watched Autumn run from the courtyard. Anger and violence churned, and in that moment there was nothing I’d have liked more than to be able to dispatch the motherfuckers who hurt her straight to hell.

“What the fuck was that?” Thad growled, and I turned to look at him.

He finally saw it.

His face said it all.

“That’s Autumn. That’s the woman she hides. That’s what happens when she’s forced to remember.”

“Fucking hell, it was like she was in a trance. Never seen anything like that, she fucking slipped out of the present and was right back there. Goddamn, she ever do that with you?”

“Fuck no.”

“So, she’ll open up to you.”

That was a big fucking no. But I didn’t want to discuss my fucked-up relationship with Autumn. I needed to go and find her.

“You don’t push her to talk.” He rightly read my silence.

“Brother, I’m gonna tread real cautious because she’s your sister-in-law. But that is not what we have. I don’t push her, she doesn’t push me. Neither of us set those boundaries but that doesn’t mean they’re not there.”

“So you fuck her and that’s it?”

“Don’t go there, Thad.”

“You ever think that maybe she needs to be pushed? That she’ll never get over what happened unless she’s forced to deal with it? Or are you all right with her living with that eating at her? I’d say she’s on a suicide mission, but fucking hell, that woman’s already dead.”

“Thad—”

“Don’t bullshit me. I remember what you told me. You said you’d give anything to have that life. That life being, coming home to your woman, to help her take care of your kids—”

“Don’t.”

“I know you don’t want it. I know.” Thad took a step toward me and my body tensed.

“You don’t know shit.”

“I don’t know what was taken from you but I know it marked you deep. It scared you. But, brother, I’m telling you, you need to hear this. It’s not too late. You can have it again.”

Fucking, fucking, hell.

“I don’t want it again. There’s no replacing what I had.”

Christ.

I was a goddamn liar, I did want it. I wanted it so bad I was dangerously close to taking it. Then the guilt hit.

Fuck.