Page 23 of Declan

“Man up and be what she needs.”

Steel infused my spine and every muscle coiled and readied to strike.

“You wouldn’t say that shit if you knew what the—”

“I don’t need to know jack shit to know you’re suffering, and I’d bet that woman in there could heal that. The same way you could heal her if you let yourself. And don’t bother responding because I won’t believe a fuckin’ word you speak. Now your actions, those are loud and clear, friend. So in two seconds when you haul ass into the house to go find Autumn, I’ll know I’m right.”

Thad stood with his arms crossed over his chest, face set to stone, and waited me out.

Fucking prick.

Wordlessly, I turned and did exactly what he said I’d do—went to search for Autumn.

And when I found her in the shower, I realized I shouldn’t have wasted a minute having a pointless conversation with Thad. Not when Autumn was in crisis, not that crisis began to describe what she was in the middle of.

I kicked off my shoes, dropped my pants, yanked off my tee in record time. Once I was down to my boxers, I stepped in behind her and got my first unobstructed view of her skin. Through the plastic curtain, I saw her scrubbing her body. What I couldn’t see was she’d been at it awhile. Her skin was blotchy and bright red.

“Baby, stop.”

“I can’t get clean.”

Fucking Christ.

I reached behind her and tried to turn the scalding water to a bearable temperature.

“Don’t. It has to be hot.”

“You’re clean, Autumn. There’s nothing on you.”

She tipped her head back and her eyes came to mine. Dead, sad eyes that destroyed me.

“It’s in me,” she corrected.

“No, baby, it’s not. There’s nothing dirty about you.”

Nothing. Not even a flicker of recognition that my words registered.

“It’s in me,” she repeated. “All the filth they left me. It’s alive. I can feel it. It crawls around if I let it.”

I knew that feeling.

“You gotta let it out of you.” What the hell was I saying? “It can’t live inside you.”

“You don’t know.” Her broken whisper stabbed me in my broken heart.

I slowly lifted my hands but she still flinched and jerked her head away. “I’m gonna touch you,” I belatedly warned.

“Don’t.”

I should’ve heeded her demand, but the overwhelming urge to comfort her overrode my good sense. I knew better. She’d never, not once, pushed me. She’d never crossed the invisible lines we’d drawn. But I couldn’t get Thad’s words out of my head. I wasn’t all right with her living with the poison that was eating her from the inside out. I wasn’t all right with her looking at me with dead eyes and a pale face. Fear so stark I could no longer deny it. I wanted to work it out of her. I wanted her out of this life. I wanted her clear of her demons. I just plain wanted her, but I didn’t have the first goddamn clue how to help her when I couldn’t see to myself.

My hands gently cupped her face and adrenaline filled my veins.

Just from a soft touch.

My thumbs featherlight over her cheeks.

Christ, she felt good.