Page 32 of Declan

I tried my best not to fidget under three identical scrutinizing stares. I had no idea how to do this—whatever this was. I was fresh out of niceness, I’d used it all up when I tried to talk Thad into going home. And I was pretty damn proud of myself that I’d kept my temper in check.

But now what was I supposed to do? Sit down and shoot the shit with three men I didn’t know? And talk about what?

“Tell us about Ashaki.” My gaze went to Brooks before he continued. “What’s her deal? Why’s she so committed to her job?”

“Your man Tex didn’t tell you? He seems to know everything.”

I glanced at the chair, and before I understood what I was doing, I was moving.

Okay, maybe I could do this. Have a normal conversation with decent people. I’d spent so many years working a mark or coercing information out of the vilest, crudest assholes known to mankind, I wasn’t sure I remembered how to speak to good people.

“Nope. Not sure if Tex is holding something back or if there was nothing for him to find,” Brooks answered.

I settled back in the chair and thought about how much to tell. I wanted these men to understand Ash, trust that she was in it for the right reasons—good reasons. She was as personally invested as I was.

“When Ash was in college, her mother was taken. They reported her disappearance and nothing was done. An older woman, married, two kids, the cops thought she’d run off.”

“Why would they think that?” Brooks inquired.

“Because the neighbor reported to the police that Ash’s parents were having marital issues. Which also meant that her dad was questioned over and over about his wife’s disappearance. With no other options, Ash’s dad searched for his wife himself. He was murdered. Then Ash’s older brother picked up the thread, now mourning the loss of his mother and his father and hell-bent on vengeance. Ash’s brother Malaki faded away, submerged himself into a world he never should’ve been involved in. It took years, but he found his mom. And when he did, he lost his shit. Went totally Hari Kari and got himself killed. So there Ashaki was, no family. A mother who had been taken, enslaved, abused. A murdered father. And a brother who got himself killed by traffickers.

“Ash was smart, wicked smart, she was finishing her masters in bioengineering but she quit school and joined the FBI. Spent years there working sex crimes. Then the CIA approached and she crossed over. She’s been there ever since.”

“If Tex had found that, he would’ve shared,” Kyle said. “That would’ve shed a beacon of light on why she goes rogue. Which means he didn’t find it. So that begs the question, how well do you know Ashaki and how do you know she’s not bullshitting you?”

“Because I know her real name.”

“And that is?” Brooks looked at me expectantly.

“And that’s going to the grave with me. Ash is the only person I trust with my life. I told you her story so you’d understand why she doesn’t follow the rules. Her entire family is gone because a sick fuck stole her mother, doped her up, and rented her out. Beyond that, I’m not telling you any more.”

I felt Max’s stare boring into me so I turned and met his gaze. He didn’t bother hiding that I wasn’t his favorite person, which made me like him. It was oddly comforting knowing where I stood, no bullshit, no subterfuge. He didn’t like me and he had balls big enough to be honest about it.

Yeah, I liked Max.

I felt my lips tip into a smile and Max’s eyes narrowed. I bet many men had pissed themselves when he turned that angry scowl their way. The thought only made me smile bigger.

“Something funny?” he snapped.

“I was just thinking how much I liked you,” I told him. “I appreciate your honesty. You don’t think much of me and you don’t give two fucks if I know. The same way I don’t give any fucks that you don’t. I’ve been buried in filth for so long it’s nice not to have to wade through layers of shit to find the truth.”

Max’s face relaxed, then slowly his face broke out into a smile.

“You don’t give any fucks, huh?”

“Not a single one to be found.”

“Fresh out?”

“I was out of fucks so long ago I forgot what a fuck feels like.”

“Come again?” Declan’s angry growl came from across the room.

I watched his lips move, but I couldn’t hear the words over the raucous laughter. The longer Kyle, Brooks, and Max roared with hilarity, the deeper Declan’s frown became.

I was totally lost. I didn’t know why the guys were laughing, why Declan looked like a homicidal maniac, but mostly I didn’t understand why my stomach started to feel funny. Tiny flutters in my belly that felt like what I remembered happiness felt like.

But then the flutters faded, the guys stopped laughing, and Declan was still mad. And since I was me and had no idea how to react in a social situation with normal people, I popped off.