Page 56 of Declan

I didn’t know what I wanted, what I’d expected him to do, but I wanted something.

“I was so weak. Seeing my baby girl covered in bruises, knowing what she’d endured, all of that my fault. I was afraid to hold you. I was so scared I’d make it worse for you if I hugged you. The doctors all warned us, you’d have PTSD. They said you might never welcome our touch again. I shouldn’t have listened. I should’ve worked past all my crap and scooped my girl up. That was my shit, not yours. And you listen to me, you’ve never been dirty. What those men did to you was not your fault.”

“It wasn’t yours either,” I admitted.

And it wasn’t. As much as I wanted to blame my dad, and I had for years, I knew it wasn’t his fault. But I hurt so badly I hated everyone. I needed someone to blame. And unfortunately, my family took the brunt of my wrath. Another reason I didn’t want to face my mom and sister. I’d said horrible things.

My body sagged heavily against my dad. I just needed him to take the burden, if only for a few minutes. I couldn’t carry it anymore. I couldn’t breathe. I didn’t want to breathe. I just wanted it all to go away.

The front door opened and my father twisted, taking me with him, and covered my body with his.

Protecting me.

Which was laughable.

But I didn’t laugh, I just took that hit and let it wash over me. Until I heard the gasp, then the pain-filled cry.

My mom.

Shit.

“Meggy, what are you doing here?”

My dad slowly gathered me in his arms and I’d stupidly buried my face in his neck like I could hide as I’d done countless times when I was a child and needed my daddy.

“Is this why you stopped answering your phone?” my mom cried. “Has Autumn been here this whole time?”

“No, Meggy, she just got here. I wouldn’t keep our girl from you.”

“Autumn?”

My mother’s voice filled my ears and it was agony. I’d been so long I’d forgotten what she sounded like.

Unable to speak, I lamely nodded.

“May I…can I…”

“Meggy, darlin’, sit down,” my dad invited and I bit my lip.

I came here to tell him…shit, I didn’t know why I came. To tell him I hated him? That I forgave him? That I knew he killed Stanley? Beg him to help me? Make him explain why he’d turned his back on me? I had no idea why I’d traveled all that way to find my dad. I just knew I had to or I was going to die.

I’d lost everything. My innocence. My heart. My soul. My future. Declan. Emmy. My parents. My niece or nephew. Everything. Gone.

Now what?

Chapter 20

“Have you heard a fuckin’ word I’ve said?” Zane barked.

“Nope,” I answered honestly.

I hadn’t heard a damn thing anyone in the room had said since Zane had hung up with Tex. We had a full house—Red, Gold, and Blue we all piled into the conference room. Sixteen operators plus Garrett meant there wasn’t enough room to breathe. Which didn’t much matter to me, since it had been a full two weeks since I’d taken in a lungful of oxygen that hadn’t left me burning mad.

“It’s not your—”

“It’s not? I was right fucking there. And you know what I did? I instructed my team to roll out of there as quickly as possible so we didn’t get caught in that shit. Literally, Z, across the street. We could’ve stopped that shit. And two privates wouldn’t be dead and Lieutenant Avery Nelson wouldn’t be MIA.”

“You had an assignment. A mission at my order to complete,” Zane replied, his tone angry. “You’re not the only one in this room feeling the loss, Declan. But you couldn’t know what was going to happen, and if you did, all six of you would’ve been dead. Report says that there were over fifty insurgents that overtook that convoy. There were six of you, only five that are properly trained. The only reason why there were only two dead and one missing is because no one fought.”