Page 62 of Declan

“Because I feel guilty for tearing apart our family. She lost Thad. The two of you lost each other. Emmy lost her parents.”

“And what’d you lose?”

I stared at my dad and couldn’t swallow past the lump in my throat.

“Everything,” I whispered.

“No, sweetheart, you didn’t. You didn’t lose anything. Things were stolen from you. But not everything. We’ve been here waiting. But you knew that, didn’t you, or you wouldn’t have come back when you needed us.”

Shit.

“This guilt you’ve been carrying around isn’t yours. Emerson made decisions, and those are hers. I couldn’t figure out how to deal with my grief and I pushed your mother away, that’s on me. Your mom made choices and those are hers. The one person who didn’t have a choice was you. That’s what was stolen. Then you had more and more taken from you.” My dad sighed and squeezed my mom. “We knew you were gonna run and we fought about it, your mom and me. I wanted to have you committed and your mom refused. Then you took off and once again I wrongly blamed your mom. I did that. Those were my mistakes.”

I was taken aback by my dad’s admission. I had no idea he’d wanted to have me committed. And if he had, I would’ve viewed that as more rejection, not him trying to get me help.

“Emerson loves you,” my mom shared. “When the two of you were growing up, sometimes I’d watch you two together and my heart would burst with happiness. Other times, I’d be jealous that the two of you were so close, you didn’t need me. You had each other and that was all you needed. Pretty silly for a mom to be jealous of her babies. But for you, it was Emmy and Daddy. The sun rose and set with them.”

“I loved you,” I corrected.

“I know you did, sweetheart. I’m not trying to have a one-woman pity party, I know you loved me, but you adored your daddy. And your sister was your hero and I’m just happy that for the first nineteen years of your life you had that. And all I can do now is pray that you’ll find that again. With your dad, your sister, me, friends, a man, maybe one day with your own children. I want you to feel that love.”

“I don’t deserve that.”

“Of course you do.”

“If you knew me. The woman I’ve become. Knew the things I’ve done, you wouldn’t think that.”

“Impossible,” my dad corrected. “I know my daughter.”

“You don’t, Dad. I’ve turned into a cold-hearted—”

“Stop it,” he snarled and my back shot straight. “There’s nothing you could possibly have done that makes me believe you’re not worthy of the very best.”

The last thread of my sanity snapped. I shouldn’t have come back. I should’ve let bygones be bygones and allowed my parents to go on wondering what happened to me. That would’ve been the kind thing to do. Now I was filled with anger.

Before I could lash out, there was a knock at the door.

My hand automatically went for my weapon, then I turned to my dad. “Are you expecting company?”

“No.”

“Take Mom into the bedroom.”

“Autumn—”

“Now, Dad.”

I stalked to the door, waited for my dad to move my mom down the hall, then I slowly opened the door.

“You’re losing your touch. I figured I’d be facing down the business end of that nine you love so much.”

“What are you doing here?”

“Surprise.” Ash smiled.

“Surprise? How’d you find me?”

“You gonna invite me in to meet your parents or are you gonna make me stand on the porch all day?”