Page 9 of A Sugary Life

Chapter Five

Phoenix used Shay’s shirt as a pillow. The scent of his cologne didn’t dim no matter how many tears Phoenix spilled onto the material. He hadn’t moved beyond picking up the shirt since Shay left. His thoughts were so scattered that they no longer made sense. That was almost a relief, considering how ugly his mind could be. One thing stood out, though. He shouldn’t have come back here.

Over the past five years, Phoenix had let himself forget how deeply he felt about Shay. The pain had numbed just enough to trick him into thinking he could handle this. No. He was no stronger now than he had been when he had dragged a piece of his shattered mirror down his wrists. Some things time couldn’t heal, it seemed.

His bedroom door opened, and Yaro stepped inside. Phoenix was too broken to even acknowledge him.

Yaro climbed onto the bed and pulled Phoenix into his arms. As much as Phoenix wanted to cry even harder, he was too weak from his nonstop despair.

“Tell me, sweet angel.”

“He knows.”

Yaro rubbed his back. “I imagine that didn’t go well.”

A humorless laugh burst from Phoenix. “Nope.”

Yaro pressed his lips to Phoenix’s forehead. For a moment, they stayed like that in silence.

Phoenix couldn’t take it. “He said I should’ve come back here and killed him instead.”

Yaro blew out a sigh. “So he doesn’t know it all, then.”

Even though it hadn’t been a question, Phoenix shook his head. “Once again, I was too weak to say anything I should.”

“Do you intend a second performance?”

Phoenix didn’t even need to think about it. “No. I can’t hurt him like that.”

“Do you plan to only cry about it, or do you want to fix it?”

Despite the situation, Phoenix smiled. “I intend to cry about it. Was that not obvious?”

Yaro pulled away enough to meet his stare. “You are much stronger than you’re pretending to be. That boy loves you. He hasn’t gone on a single date or even looked anyone else’s way. Not before you left or after. He loves only you. He’s upset. Don’t let that fester. How do you think I’ve put up with Pytor since we were sixteen? I’m a big guy. Nothing stopped me from putting his thick head through a wall other than love and communication. You will go make him see he was not the only one struggling mentally back then. It’s not always easy to see past the pain to the other side, especially with the lives we live. But you are strong and brave and meant to be with Shay. You cry, shout, and rage, but you will do it with him. If you go to him, you know he can’t throw you out. You are too precious to him.”

Phoenix sniffed. “I look so ugly now.” He almost started crying again at the thought.

Yaro laughed. “I’m willing to put a lot of money on Shay never thinking you’re anything other than the most beautiful man alive.” His voice hardened. “At least he’d better.”

The threat surprised a laugh from Phoenix. He sat up and wiped his eyes. A loud sigh burst from him. “I guess I should at least wash my face.”

Yaro rolled from the bed. “I’ll keep watch to make sure he doesn’t leave before you are ready. You’ve got this. He has always been yours. Don’t let him forget.”

Phoenix swiped his face again. “Thank you for checking on me. I’m sorry if I was crying so hard, I disturbed the household.”

Yaro gave him a funny look. “I didn’t know you were crying. Pytor saw Shay crying as he headed into his room. I knew immediately there was only one reason that boy would break down. He’s stayed too stoic for too many years to break now.”

A pain sliced through Phoenix’s chest. He couldn’t let Shay hurt alone. Phoenix couldn’t get to him fast enough.

A soft knock on his bedroom door had Shay biting back a growl. He yanked the door open, ready to harden his heart and send Phoenix on his way. He couldn’t believe Phoenix would even come after him.

Pytor stood on the other side, looking resigned. “I’m guessing Phoenix told you the real reason he disappeared.”

If Pytor had said anything else, Shay might have flown into a rage. Instead, he was just confused. What did he mean by real reason? Shay took a step back, silently inviting Pytor in.

Thankfully, Pytor didn’t wait for Shay to find a way to get Pytor talking without admitting he had no idea what he was talking about. “I guess that also means I owe you an apology.”

Pytor sat at the small table where Shay usually ate dinner.