Page 79 of Fated to the Demon Lord

“I hate that excuse,” I snapped, my vision blurring. “I don’t need others deciding what I can handle. I don’t need him to choose my life for me. It’s mine. I get to decide.” I swiped at the tears on my cheeks.

“Hey, hey.” My mother embraced me. “This is more than just about Vaelor, isn’t it?”

It was about Vaelor. But it was also about her, and my entire damn existence since the day she disappeared.

I shivered in her embrace, but nodded.

“I wish there was something I could say or do to take away the years of pain and suffering I put upon you and your brother,” Mother said as she stroked my hair. “Denara, I love you so much. I’d give anything to change how everything happened.”

Feeling the steady rhythm of her touch, I buried my face in her shoulder, breathing in her familiarity that had always calmed me in my worst moments. “I want to forgive you so much, and I understand why you needed to leave.” I pulled back and again swiped the tears from my cheeks. “Why am I like this?”

“Wounds don’t heal so easily,” Mother said gently. “Not for you and not for Gerand.” She nodded to my brother, who lay in a nearby bed, tossing and turning.

I hurried to Gerand’s side and put a hand on his forehead. “You’re all right. You’re safe.”

He cried out, and his eyes snapped open. He took me in as his breath came in gasps. Smoothing his hair, I held his hand until his breathing steadied.

“I dreamed about the night they captured us,” he said. “I’ve had that nightmare so many times.”

“Me too.” I brushed his bangs away from his face one more time. “But we are safe now, Gerand.”

He pressed his palms against his eyes, but his head bobbed. “Safe.” He took another breath. “It’s hard, though, because sometimes it feels like it won’t last.”

I understood exactly how he felt. “Like any moment that safety will be snatched from you.”

He gave an additional, small nod.

“Some things, I suppose, only time can heal.” I gripped his hand tighter. As time passed, perhaps we’d both win back our sense of safety and trust. Like a wall being built brick by agonizing brick. But until then—until it was finished and in place—it would remain uncertain and unstable.

Which was why Vaelor’s leaving had obliterated my wall yet again.

A smile came to Gerand’s lips. “I trust you. If you say I’m safe, then I believe it.”

I didn’t deserve his confidence. Tears sprang to my eyes, and I looked away, not wanting to cry again. I had failed him when I’d sworn to protect him. I cleared my throat. “Ma is making breakfast. You want some?”

“Yes, thanks, Denara.” He rose and took a seat at the table where Mother served him some food.

She offered me a plate, but I turned it down, not hungry. I watched as Mother sat down with Gerand and soon had him laughing—nightmare forgotten. The scent drifting from the warm bread, the crackle of the fire, and my mother’s voice blending with Gerand’s laughter felt like the dream I’d clung to from the moment I realized she wasn’t coming home.

Could I be happy here? I was safe, free, and surrounded by family. I finally had everything I ever desired.

Except him. I’d been with Vaelor last night, and all I wanted was more.

When Marbas joined them at the table, Mother rose and laid a hand on my shoulder. “Come with me.”

I followed her out of the cabin.

Outside, the morning air was crisp and clear, another sign of Vaelor’s absence. I’d gotten used to the mist that curled at my feet when he was near.

“You have a home here. You always will,” Mother said. “Both you and your brother.”

A twinge of guilt crept inside. Here I was with everything I’d wanted for so long, and yet pining over the fact that it wasn’t enough. “Yes, and instead of worrying about Vaelor, I should be making sure Gerand is all right. That he’s adjusting well.”

“Gerand is remarkably resilient. You both have always been that way. I’m surprised how quickly he is settling in.” She bit her lip as if deciding something, but then took a deep breath. “If you promise to return, I think he might be fine with you leaving.”

I stared at her in confusion. “Leaving?”

She hesitated, twisting her fingers together, the way she did when she was uncertain. “There is a connection between you and Vaelor. It’s in how you both orient yourselves to each other whenever you are near. The way you communicate without speaking. There is something about it, something deep and inevitable.” She frowned.