Page 15 of Keel

“What?”

She shook her head. “Nothing.”

He could see the hesitation in her eyes. Were the words she left unspoken as desperate as he’d felt? He wouldn’t push her right now.

“Do you have any money?”

She shrugged. “I don’t know. Forest took control of everything. I had some. I had enough to pay for college. It was tied up in some weird thing.”

“What do you mean?”

“They wouldn’t let me have full access, so I had to submit my financial needs to a guy, a lawyer, and he approved the money or not. I mean, it made sense. My college was paid for, but after getting with Forest, he took over. Told me not to worry about it.”

Anger whipped through Keel. No question that bastard had taken advantage of Frankie. He would help her.

“We’ll figure it out somehow. As to where to go, I bought a house recently, and there’s a guest room. My buddies live close, it’s a safe place, and he would never look for you there. I’ll be at work all day, and you can do what you need to do to recover.”

She shook her head. “Why would you help me? You don’t know me. I could be a crazy bitch and wreck you.”

He crossed his arms over his chest and stared at her. “Are you going to do that?”

Frankie couldn’t believe anyone wanted to help her. She’d done so many things wrong in her life. She wouldn’t wreck Keel’s life. He was too nice. “Forest called me a crazy bitch all the time. Said I was totally unreasonable.”

Keel grunted. “That guy isn’t worth listening to.”

“How do you know? Maybe he was right.”

“I know because he gave you all of these bruises. If he were right, he wouldn’t have hit you. He wouldn’t have had to force control. He would have talked, gone to counseling with you if he was angry, supported you in your endeavors, not forced you to live in a world of alcohol and drugs. He would have been happy when you got a job.”

His words sank in, poking at all her hard and soft points. The soft points hurt. The mental anguish had turned to physical pain years ago. Being drunk and high had allowed her to forget for a moment. Forgetting felt good.

When she stopped drinking, Forest had been angry, tried to force her to drink and do drugs, but she’d held strong. Then he’d drugged her beverages like coffee and tea. That’s when she stopped drinking anything he gave her. Slowly, she got the chemicals out of her body, and the beatings hurt. Really hurt.

That’s how she’d gained the will to leave. Leaving was the only way to survive, and she wanted to survive. At least she wanted to be here some days. There were days when the darkness dripped through her bloodstream, turning all her insides to decay. Those days hurt.

She’d thought deeply about leaving the world behind. Drifting off into the ether sounded glorious some days. But she didn’t know which way she would drift, or if it was game over the second she died.

She shook her head, her feelings twisting so tight it almost hurt to breathe. “How do you get past it? How do you find the will to stick around?”

“You take it one day at a time. You do it the same way you stopped alcohol. You make up your mind to live.”

“There are days I don’t want to.”

“I know. I’ve been there. But are there more days you want to live?”

Were there? She wasn’t sure. “Maybe.”

“That’s a start.” Keel gently moved her back to her seat on the couch and stood. “You should sleep. Breakfast in the morning?”

She nodded, a part of her wishing he’d offered to stay, and another part was glad he hadn’t. She would have screwed it up. Fucking Keel, no matter how good he looked or how nice it felt for him to hold her, wouldn’t solve anything. Besides, she would get it wrong.

“Yes, for breakfast. Thank you for coming over.”

“Sure. Anytime.”

Keel left, and she turned the deadbolt after the door closed. The things in the book were pressing her like a vice, squeezing all the bad, bringing it to the surface, and making her face it.

Was she strong enough to live through the crucible, or would it burn her, too? She wasn’t sure of the answer, but she wanted to stick around for now, if only to sit and talk to Keel.